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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Work Experience disaster

81 replies

JackieO22 · 20/03/2024 10:07

DS 15 had work experience this week and absolutely hates it. So gutted, it seemed the perfect job for him but he just wants to come home. Know he is out of his comfort zone as doesn't know anyone but this will happen when he's older and starts working. Can't give more details as outing. Think employers will not be giving good feedback to school, just feel so sad for him.

OP posts:
Overthebow · 20/03/2024 11:01

its not good he came home yesterday, but great he’s gone in today so give him praise for that tonight. It’s a good lesson for having to be an adult and doing things he doesn’t necessarily want to do.

Seeline · 20/03/2024 11:07

I really don't see the point of work experience at that age. As under 16s there is so much they aren't allowed to do and it's not much better for under 18s. And in any case, there will be restrictions over confidentiality etc. It really doesn't give a true reflection of what a job might be.

In the old days most of the time was spent photocopying or filing. These days with no paper in most offices, they can't even do that.

FrenchandSaunders · 20/03/2024 11:08

Most teens hate their work experience and mostly it's a complete waste of time. Mine quit hers half way through and is now a fully functional working adult.

pinkdelight · 20/03/2024 11:09

I got asked to leave my work experience halfway through the first week. Not because I was badly behaved or anything, it just wasn't the right fit for me. I was doing my best in the spirit of the 'put up with it' posts but actually stopping was the best thing and I switched instead - we had two weeks not one - to helping out in a very different kind of work and loved it.

So I got a lot out of the whole thing and the first part that's analogous to your DS was in fact really useful in showing me this fantasy that I'd enjoy that work (it was education related) was totally wrong and not something to pursue, and it was much better to stop than keep going with it. It won't make your DS some lifelong quitter if he stops and nor will a negative report from that place matter a jot if it's not what he wants to do now anyhow. Most important thing is to sort something else in his free time where he might fit better. I did extra work experience in all the long school holidays that was much more helpful.

HoHoHoliday · 20/03/2024 11:12

What is it that's going wrong for him? Work experience is not the same as starting a real job, it's to get a taste of being in a workplace.

It's not great that he left, but at least he's gone back - that is a good learning experience for him. He overcame something, dealt with it and returned.

Is it that the work is not what he imagined, or not as enjoyable as he expected? That's also a learning experience. Perhaps it's not the right career for him and he knows now to change direction in future. Or knows that he needs more/different skills to enjoy that particular work perhaps? Sometimes jobs are not enjoyable while you are training but once you have the skills you get into it.

Or is it that the people are not treating him well? That would need to be addressed.

Or perhaps is it that he's not being included, not getting to try much, so he's bored? He could then think about what he wants to get from this week. He could go in tomorrow morning and ask for something - ask to see a particular thing being done, ask to be shown how something works, ask to try a particular thing, etc. He presumably has a supervisor? It would show initiative to go in and say "I'm learning a lot from this week but there's this one thing I'd really love to have a go at to help me learn..." something like that.

mylittleitalianhome · 20/03/2024 11:16

alloalloallo · 20/03/2024 10:53

I think work experience is an awkward experience and worse than actually working. Nobody knows what to do with the work experience kid and they get under peoples feet. There’s often no real plan, no work for them to do, nobody is going to spend time training them up in anything. Your son will have picked up on this.

Yes, I agree.

When we have work experience kids here at work, I always make sure there’s a plan in place for them, ensure that they get to do a bit of everything and schedule them in for certain jobs in each department and make expectations clear in advance - they need to bring lunch, they need to wear appropriate clothing, etc, etc. I want them to leave us with a good understanding of the job and feel like they’ve been treated fairly. We have actually gone on to take a couple of them on as apprentices once they’d done their GCSEs

When my DD did hers (at a local vets for veterinary nursing) she basically spent the week cleaning random stuff and tidying their garden area. Didn’t go near an animal the whole time. 2 days in and she was bored silly. She stuck the week out but was totally put off.

Edited

That’s such a shame! I did two weeks at a vets and got to go out on calls; watch operations; operate the blood analysis machine and cuddle the animals. One of my jobs was even to help comfort people while their pets were being put down and take the animals to the freezer 😬Maybe health and safety regs have changed since then!

WinkyTinky · 20/03/2024 11:21

I wouldn't worry too much about it. There's no way of knowing you're going to automatically enjoy, or even to be able to endure, work experience. So the fact it was not what he wanted is all part of that experience. I hated my work experience (during A-levels) and only managed one day. It was a nightmare from start to finish and I could not go back the rest of the week, and I have survived. I definitely don't work in the chemical refining industry though!

RhubarbGingerJam · 20/03/2024 11:37

Think employers will not be giving good feedback to school, just feel so sad for him.

Doesn't matter if they do TBH - I had it with Y10 one. I'd organised it all myself - no school or parental help - it was two weeks did some fun things some boring time filling - wasn't prepared for team leader to do basally a character assignation on last day.

I was in tears when Mum picked me up - and in tears when form tutor came to talk about it - they both said not to worry and while I was upset and embarrassed at time it really didn't matter even a week later.

Y12 I sorted it all myself again though difference in area- it was a better experience they has a whole scheme with sister company worked out - so did lab work, field work and office work - mostly helped with Uni interviews.

Neither really had much long term impact on my working life TBH as worked in completely different area.

If it's the field he dislikes - well then he's got something out of it already.

DGPP · 20/03/2024 11:54

I know hardly anybody who enjoyed their school work experience, it can be tedious and boring and make you feel horrendously self-conscious.
But I would tell DS that he has to go back and just get through it. Put it on his CV and mark it up to experience

lljkk · 20/03/2024 11:55

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 20/03/2024 10:48

He’s 15, don’t worry about it. Try and help him unpick what aspects he didn’t enjoy and why he came home and then move on.

This is excellent advice.

JPGR · 20/03/2024 12:38

Reassure him that it is normal to feel anxious about being out of his comfort zone. But that is part of life and if you never feel out of your comfort zone then you are never challenging yourself. Do try and persuade him to go back.

MissingMoominMamma · 20/03/2024 12:45

I did some work experience last year (at 57!). Whilst I could see myself really enjoying the job, I felt like a spare part, looking for ways to be useful. It was excruciating at times!

waterrat · 20/03/2024 13:03

Oh gosh he is only 15 ! I had all sorts of bad work experience moments including leaving one really good place half way through because i hated it and turning up late to others after partying all night

Im 46 now and doing fine !

He would be better off getting used to work gently with some part time shifts just to get used to turning up other people etx

EasterEgger · 20/03/2024 13:11

Work experience is always rubbish as no one really knows what to do with you/you are kind of in the way.
Obviously he has no experience or training of the job, so of course one week of it isn't going to accurately reflect on his ability in the world of work.
He may be a bit of an introvert and we do worse out of our comfort zones Grin or maybe the job is not what he expected or for him.. Which is fine.
I went through 3 crappy jobs and dropped out of uni to get to the one I enjoy now, the last job I rang up and quit after a couple months, but I've been in my current job now for nearly 10 years.

So he needs to get through it, dust himself off and onto something different.

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 20/03/2024 13:24

A lot of schools don't even do work experience any more. It's really outdated and very rarely does anyone actually get anything out of it.

DDs school has cut it back to just 3 days and as she's ND and not ready for work yet, she's going to come to work with me. She's already panicking with the thought of it. I'm not prepared to put her into meltdown mode for the sake of building 'resilience'.

If your son is really struggling with it I wouldn't make him go back. It sounds like he's not being very well looked after. How could he even have left the building without anyone realising? I'd be concerned about the safeguarding they're not providing!

And don't be sad. Some kids are ready for work experience at 15. Others are not. You know your son. Praise him for trying it but if it's going to cause angst it's really not worth it in my opinion. The last thing you want to do is put him off work altogether. He's got plenty of time to figure out what he wants to do when he leaves school.

maxelly · 20/03/2024 13:55

Bless him. Like others have said work experience so often is an excruciating experience for all concerned. Especially in office based environments which of course so many jobs are these days. We get work experience kids in my work fairly frequently and while I do my best for them it's such a lot of effort to find things they can actually do and despite my best efforts they do end up bored and awkward or going home early a lot of the time (and the more anxious ones then get worked up and worried they're somehow making a bad impression or will get in trouble with their teachers for not doing whatever it is they imagined they were meant to be doing/achieving on their placement, they really really don't of course, the only ones I've ever had to actually complain about were actively rude/disrepectful or simply never showed up at all! everyone else gets glowing feedback even if they sat in the corner too scared to say anything all week!).

As someone else said in the 'olden days' you at least were able to give them some filing or photocopying or typing to do, or get them to do tea rounds or answer the phones, but none of that really happens in a modern office (or would require them getting set up with log ins and training on specific systems etc which really isn't practical for a 2 or 3 day work experience placement). Just being an observer sucks, even if you send them round different teams and people, all 'shadowing' involves is either sitting watching someone as they click and type on their computer, or attending meetings where they have no clue what's going on Grin

If it's an office type place he's in OP and he feels up to putting some suggestions forward for how he can use his time here are some things I get my work experience kids to do in my very, very boring corporate role (some of these are admittedly 'busy work' but it's good practice for the real world lol, and gives them something to take away and show for their week):

-Get some (non confidential) data (could be sales stats or workforce or financials/budgets, whatever's loosely relevant) and practice manipulating it in excel - making pivot tables, charts, graphs etc. He can teach himself to do this online if he doesn't know how.
-Summarize some (not too technical) articles from trade/professional journals or bulletins or even online webinars into headline bullet points for his supervisor to quickly read.
-Research a topic relevant to the workplace/department (could be a new technological development or a political change or a new business area or similar) - write this up into a briefing for a senior manager or stakeholder. Practice using PESTLE, SWOT and other analysis techniques to present the info. If relevant to the area then get them to write a staff newsletter/intranet item/communication or client briefing or social media post about the topic - get thinking about different audiences and how you present the same info in different formats (I can spin one single topic out into days on end of work for them lol)
-Using the same data or any other information, make a powerpoint slide deck explaining his findings and maybe even recommendations - if he's feeling really confident do a mini verbal presentation to his supervisor and/or some colleagues (although this is beyond many 15 year olds TBF)
-Practice taking minutes or action points for a meeting (non confidential/contentious obviously) which is a super useful workplace skill (I sometimes get them to do if from Teams recordings of a meeting rather than live as less pressure - if need be this can be 'helping' the actual minute taker rather than solo.

11NigelTufnel · 20/03/2024 14:08

Oh god, my work experience was awful. My parents wouldn't let me go work with my uncle in the nearest city like my brother did, as they didn't want a girl commuting. School shoved me into the place no one else wanted to go to, where they gave me the tasks they didn't want to do. I had been working on a Saturday for a few years by then anyway, so not like I picked it anything new about "work". Just chalk it up to experience and be thankful it doesn't count tll towards any exams anyway.

Mynewnameis · 20/03/2024 14:26

I hated work experience in a hospital. Always felt in the way and awkward

JackieO22 · 20/03/2024 18:39

shoppingshamed · 20/03/2024 10:57

Is this a residential placement? That's a lot for a 15 year old, I'm not surprised he's want to come home

Who decided that would be a good idea?

No it's a 9-5 job

OP posts:
JackieO22 · 20/03/2024 18:42

alloalloallo · 20/03/2024 10:53

I think work experience is an awkward experience and worse than actually working. Nobody knows what to do with the work experience kid and they get under peoples feet. There’s often no real plan, no work for them to do, nobody is going to spend time training them up in anything. Your son will have picked up on this.

Yes, I agree.

When we have work experience kids here at work, I always make sure there’s a plan in place for them, ensure that they get to do a bit of everything and schedule them in for certain jobs in each department and make expectations clear in advance - they need to bring lunch, they need to wear appropriate clothing, etc, etc. I want them to leave us with a good understanding of the job and feel like they’ve been treated fairly. We have actually gone on to take a couple of them on as apprentices once they’d done their GCSEs

When my DD did hers (at a local vets for veterinary nursing) she basically spent the week cleaning random stuff and tidying their garden area. Didn’t go near an animal the whole time. 2 days in and she was bored silly. She stuck the week out but was totally put off.

Edited

I think DS expertise similar to your DD

OP posts:
JackieO22 · 20/03/2024 18:44

Seeline · 20/03/2024 11:07

I really don't see the point of work experience at that age. As under 16s there is so much they aren't allowed to do and it's not much better for under 18s. And in any case, there will be restrictions over confidentiality etc. It really doesn't give a true reflection of what a job might be.

In the old days most of the time was spent photocopying or filing. These days with no paper in most offices, they can't even do that.

It was very hard to find him work experience, it seems lots of places stopped taking placements on after covid

OP posts:
JackieO22 · 20/03/2024 18:47

pinkdelight · 20/03/2024 11:09

I got asked to leave my work experience halfway through the first week. Not because I was badly behaved or anything, it just wasn't the right fit for me. I was doing my best in the spirit of the 'put up with it' posts but actually stopping was the best thing and I switched instead - we had two weeks not one - to helping out in a very different kind of work and loved it.

So I got a lot out of the whole thing and the first part that's analogous to your DS was in fact really useful in showing me this fantasy that I'd enjoy that work (it was education related) was totally wrong and not something to pursue, and it was much better to stop than keep going with it. It won't make your DS some lifelong quitter if he stops and nor will a negative report from that place matter a jot if it's not what he wants to do now anyhow. Most important thing is to sort something else in his free time where he might fit better. I did extra work experience in all the long school holidays that was much more helpful.

Helpful 👍🏻I think DS (and us) thought it was going to be a very different experience to what it actually was, at least he can cross it off as a future career and learn from this!!

OP posts:
JackieO22 · 20/03/2024 18:51

HoHoHoliday · 20/03/2024 11:12

What is it that's going wrong for him? Work experience is not the same as starting a real job, it's to get a taste of being in a workplace.

It's not great that he left, but at least he's gone back - that is a good learning experience for him. He overcame something, dealt with it and returned.

Is it that the work is not what he imagined, or not as enjoyable as he expected? That's also a learning experience. Perhaps it's not the right career for him and he knows now to change direction in future. Or knows that he needs more/different skills to enjoy that particular work perhaps? Sometimes jobs are not enjoyable while you are training but once you have the skills you get into it.

Or is it that the people are not treating him well? That would need to be addressed.

Or perhaps is it that he's not being included, not getting to try much, so he's bored? He could then think about what he wants to get from this week. He could go in tomorrow morning and ask for something - ask to see a particular thing being done, ask to be shown how something works, ask to try a particular thing, etc. He presumably has a supervisor? It would show initiative to go in and say "I'm learning a lot from this week but there's this one thing I'd really love to have a go at to help me learn..." something like that.

I have suggested to him that he asks if he can get involved in a part of the job that he would probably enjoy and get something out of it, I think he's been left with the stuff that no one wants to do

OP posts:
JackieO22 · 20/03/2024 18:53

WinkyTinky · 20/03/2024 11:21

I wouldn't worry too much about it. There's no way of knowing you're going to automatically enjoy, or even to be able to endure, work experience. So the fact it was not what he wanted is all part of that experience. I hated my work experience (during A-levels) and only managed one day. It was a nightmare from start to finish and I could not go back the rest of the week, and I have survived. I definitely don't work in the chemical refining industry though!

Reassuring, thank you

OP posts:
mintbiscuit · 20/03/2024 18:54

JackieO22 · 20/03/2024 10:43

Have told him this, and just one week, all done, learnt something new even if it not was expected!

Sounds like you’re managing it well OP. You’re helping him build resilience and confidence which he’ll need in spades in the real world when it comes!

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