Bedtime?

[Kettlebellend]

What time do you teens go to bed?

DD is 14, 15 next month, I still take her phone in the late evening and ask her to switch off lights etc by 10 on a school night but she’s complaining that all her friends stay up later (no bedtime on thr weekend, weekdays she needs to be awake at 6.30)

Mine all went to bed at 10 pm, without a phone/tablet, until they’d completed their GCSE’s. They were up later at the weekends.

When mine were that age they self regulated.

10pm would have been an impossible bedtime anyway- they all did activities (Scouts, sports, drama) that finished at 9pm, 9.30pm or even 10pm iirc when they were teens. Not every night but more than one night.

They all had morning paper rounds and all got up OK.

My son17 is lights out bt 10.30. He is is post 16 and self regulates. My twin daughters 14, phones turn off at 8pm and left downstairs. They are lights out about 9.30. If they can't sleep, they stay in rooms and read or whatever and no phones. They also have friends that stay up all night, who then sleep in class. When this comes up, we just say no.

Don't worry about what friends do. Set your family boundaries and stick to it. They may be grumpy and that is ok.

Thanks all, I didn’t think it was an unreasonable bedtime, most nights I’m ready for bed by then too!

Usually turning my 14yo's light out about 9.30 on a school night. Phone locked.

14 year old son self regulates. Hes usually up till about 11ish. But he doesnt need to get up till 7.30 and never ever has any trouble waking. Tbf hes much the same at weekend as has to be up at same time roughly.

Lights off, devices off at 10.30pm for my 15 year old on school nights. He does sometimes struggle getting up in the morning though. But earlier wouldn't be realistic in our house.

10pm is incredibly early for a teen. By the time DD got home from school, went to sports training, had dinner, shower etc it would’ve already been 9pm. She would’ve still been doing homework at 10 and most of her friends were the same

That’s my thought too tbh. Do these teens not do any activities? IME if they are this age they are a lot later. Beavers for 6-8yo ends at 7pm but once they get older, Scouts was 9.30, Explorers 9.30 and Guides 9pm. Walk home, have a snack, change, unlikely to be ready for bed before 10.30pm.

ds2 had footy training 8-9pm at 14yo and it was a 20 min drive away; dd did a drama group from age 13 (tbf that was the minimum age) that finished at 10pm, again a short drive away.

Not every night for every child so they had some earlier nights if they wanted. But I am surprised that 14/15yos are in bed at 9.30pm.

Mine do pretty much all of their clubs at school either at lunch or after school. Football is external but training is 7pm-8pm and matches are Sunday mornings.

Does she get up in the morning without a fuss? When mine started being around that age they were warned that I would impose earlier bedtimes if they couldn’t/wouldn’t get up in the morning. Based on her wake up time, I think 10pm is sensible

Some days she gets up without a fuss and others I have to go in and tell her to get up, usually once she’s got up and straight in the shower she’s fine.
Clubs are all straight after school/weekend bar one a week that is 6-7pm

Mine self regulate because I fall asleep before them because I'm more tired after my working day

I'd never want to control my DC like that anyway

My DC have had to get themselves up and out to school in the mornings since Yr5 and Yr6 because everyone has already left for work

my youngest is 14. Lights out 10.30. He has to get up at ten past 7.

That’s great that your te ens self regulate but it’s a bit judgemental of you to assume that other parents want to ‘control’ their teens,
i would love for mine to self regulate but she would spend all evening on her phone and go to sleep early hours

Almost 14 yo here. Lights off around 10.30. Maybe a few mins later if he has 5-10 mins left on an episode he's watching though.
I do take his phone off him at night when I go to bed though (around the same time)
I can't regulate my own phone use so I don't expect a teenager to. He doesn't moan about that as it's now just habit to hand it over when I go in,
Up at 7.15 but he struggles with that so bed time can't be any later.

Ours chose their own bedtimes around that age. As long as they were up ready for school with all their kit prepped, we trusted them to be responsible. And they were.

Sometimes I’d have to prompt them because they looked tired but they generally regulated well. Sometimes they used to go up after us and even locked up and turned lights off.

We encouraged independence and taking responsibility. They never really let us down because they knew that being sensible was the key to us giving them grown up freedoms they enjoyed.

I get my 3 teens up in a morning but I don't give them a bedtime. They are 16, 15'and 14.
I go to bed before them.

DD (14) self regulates, but she is generally asleep by 11pm.

She wakes up at 6.30 to let the rabbit out and play with him for an hour before she has to get ready for school.

My Yr7/19 are bed late - 10.30 ish but don't get up til 7.30/8am and still get to school on time

14 (nearly 15) year old DD sorts out her own bedtime tbh. She's always up before me and sorted for school so I don't really see the need to impose a time.

Mine did as they pleased , I stopped policing bedtime way before then .

Just me then that doesn't have a teen going to bed at 10:30 😬
Mine is 16. Sometimes he will be asleep at 10, sometimes I will go past his room at midnight for the loo and I can see he is still awake.
Gets up for school fine.

I’d try to keep a regular bedtime as long as possible.
When I was 12+ , I often didn’t get to bed until after 11pm and later at weekends, . I was always tired, found school difficult.
It suited my family for me to go to bed that very late but it was detrimental to me.
That said my kids are younger and one night a week, aren’t in bed until 9.30om and asleep by 10pm due to a late activity that isn’t over until 9pm. Im doing my best to get them to quit it.

My oldest is a tiny bit younger younger than yours. Screens downstairs by 10. No restrictions on lights off.
His brother has an earlier screen limit, and switches his own lights off by about 9pm.

Many of their friends send messages after mine are device free.