Weed

[tostaky]

My 15.5 Ds really wanted to go out to his friends earlier. I was on the pavement when he came back and i thought that was odd he came this way and not the other way... then he played a bit of fortnite and he said to his friend he had something looking good but cant talk about it right now...
When his siblings went to bed i asked him for a quick chat downstairs. I asked him for the weed and no surprise he gave it to me.... this is a super sporty boy! I am baffled... he is in a new school... i suggested he did this because he wants to fit in ... whatever he says i cant trust him....
What should i do? How doea one navigate this without damaging the relationship?
Many thanks

Of course you can deal with this without damaging the relationship, but it is bound to be a little rocky at times like this, when you and your teenage kid are hitting this kind of typical turbulence. I guess strap in and hang on for the ride!

Why would you say "whatever he says I can't trust him"? Your post makes it sound like he didn't lie or resist being transparent with you when you asked him for the weed? That sounds like the response a fairly decent kid would give.

Did you ask him why he did it? Am wondering why you suggested the reason for it rather than listening to his reasons?

Thank you for your message. I was suggesting it was to fit in because the only reason he gave me was "i dont know" or no reply at all.
I know he is not always telling the truth about things sometimes... and so when i asked him if it was the first time he bought something like this he sais no and in my mind i could think of two other occasions where he had gone out and it felt a bit odd....
I have confiscated his phone becaise i am furious... i dont know if i should give it back to him or keep it for a day or two as a consequence...

How did you know he had weed? Has he used it before?

Unfortunately you will find that most 'people' not just kids will say 'everyone' does it, therefore the weed is normal and you are not.

Drugs are a huge problem, and this age is such a vulnerable one. Yes he may need to fit in, but even the ones that fit are still doing stuff. A lot of parents will say 'my child would never do that' trust me they would.

My ex smoked weed from the age of 13 'to fit in' he went from there to much harder drugs (it IS a gateway drug) he functioned and held down a job, though was never home because he wasn't allowed it in or around the home. His brain was fried and had mood swings, all symptoms of weed use.

Do your best to nip this in the bud OP, I stress though it is not easy😔