Daughter stealing younger sisters clothes

[VALCITY1990]

Hi all

I have 2 dds DD1 15 and DD2 12

Dd1 has a Saturday job helping out her friends mum at her hairdressers with the money she earns she treats her self to expensive clothes make up trainers etc however DD2 Has become very jealous as I can't afford the things she buys due to money being tight and being a single mother.

DD2 out of jealousy has started to resorting taking her stuff and then denying it even tho they have been found in her room in talking everything you name it,
shirts skirts trainers make-up even her own UNDERWEAR!!! I do the washing so I know there not hers! Every time DD1 confronts her if always ends in a screaming match!!!

It's just non stop arguing and I am up my wits end with it

Any suggestions please will be great to

I can't put a lock on the door as they share a room!

so she’s taking them

and then hiding them in her room

naughty. so when you have found out… what’s been her punishment?

this Sat job helping out in hairdressers that she’s just started must pay very well to allow your 15 year old to buy expensive clothes and make up and shoes!

Suitcase and a lock +key. Shouldn't have to but a temp measure...

What have you tried so far? 12 year old needs some kind of consequences/discipline. I know sisters do this a lot but it sounds like it's going too far.

Just sounds like normal teenage sisters to me. My little sister always stole my clothes. It would drive me nuts! It didn't matter what punishments she got or how many times I bollocked her, smacked her around she carried on doing it until I left home.

I've tried taking her phone off her, banned her from going out the house friends etc but nothing works

did you really used to “smack her around”?!

it's DDS best friend their feel very well off and the mother has an extreme liking to my DD and has taken her abroad twice on their family holidays they own holiday villa in Spain

Yes. I would belt her and then she'd belt me back.

(Belt = slap, not an actual belt).

how much older were you?!

Do they share a room or are there separate bedrooms?

Can you get a lock fitted on older DD's room?

Other than that, a lock for her wardrobe or closet?

This is a recurring problem with teen girls but you need to deal with it effectively.

4 years. She was taller and heavier than me though.

My little sister used to steal my clothes too. I used to wait until she'd gone out and raid her bedroom for all my belongings. My parents weren't interested in addressing it, so eventually I stole some of her art materials (she was doing art GCSE) and hid them in the attic, I don't think she ever found them. They're probably still there now 30 years later. And after this she seemed to get the message.

Not sure what the point of this post is except to say if you don't sort it out your older DD probably will, much like the previous poster did (with her fists)!

Am I the only person here feeling a bit of compassion for the younger sister? She has no access to the considerable sums her older sister does - is there any chance big sis could do a bit of sharing???

This was my experience of growing up (working class 80's northern) I also got belted by older sisters and sometimes cracked by my mum

I think any teenager would be fairly rightfully fuming if she was buying things with her own earned money and being told she had to share them with her little sister

How can the stuff be found in her room if they share a room?

are you sure it’s always her?

my sister used to hide her stuff under my bed to deliberately get me in trouble…

Yup, working class 90s northern here. I too got belted by both my mum and dad. (Belted is a mild way of putting it. 😒)

I don't think she should have to do that at all! The younger girl's time will come when she can earn her own money and she can't be rewarded for nicking her sister's stuff by then being given money by her sister!

Do they share an actual wardrobe or storage space in the room?

@DetOliviaBenson

ahh the good old days 😬

Does younger daughter get the holiday too, put a lock on the wardrobe door.. would d1 buy her younger sister something nice.

no access to the considerable sums her older sister does

im still curious about how a 15 year old working on a saturday in a hairdresser (presumably sweeping floors etc) is managing to afford expensive clothes and shoes and accruing “considerable sums”!!!

This used to happen to me, my sister would take all my clothes that I'd asked for for Christmas, birthday, saved up to buy etc.

I still remember how it made me feel when I'd see her in a photo wearing something from my wardrobe. She would then hide the evidence down the side of her bed (to use again) so I'd never notice as the item would just disappear from existence. It was really upsetting tbh.

She was never punished which made it worse. Eventually parents got a lock put on my wardrobe.

What the Hell has that go to do with you? It's not even the point. The younger sis's stealing her big sister's stuff. In what universe is that okay?

how large are the sums and what exactly is she buying?
Now as she's earning her own money and buying her own clothes, it means you don't need to buy them for her and maybe can buy something nicer for DD2?