How much screen time for a 13yo

[MissDollyMix]

This is a question that’s been asked time and time again but at the risk of sounding extremely stupid, it’s just occurred to me that I think my 13 yo ds is spending WAY too much time on screens. I think it’s crept in very slowly so we didn’t notice but I suddenly had a moment this morning when I caught him sitting in the dark in his bedroom (it’s lovely sunny Sunday lunchtime) just mindlessly watching or playing on something (it’s not even productive, he’s not a gamer)…. But maybe I’m being unreasonable? Is this just normal 13yo behaviour? He’s otherwise a good kid but just has incredibly limited interests. I’m not saying no screens, I just think he should do something… or anything… else with his life!!

hi Op I hear you its so easy for it to ramp up

Can I just say my thought on the question of 'normal' - I work in a field in which I have a lot of awareness of tech and kids - I don't think the question of what is normal right now in 2023 is helpful

Being brutally honest - many many children are spending far too much time on screens - and it is pushing out of their lives the outdoor time that humans evolved to enjoy as young people - we have to be realistic about that.

I see that at all ages - not just teenagers but among 9/ 10 year olds as well now.

My feeling - is that if its sunny and it's daytime and they haven't been out yet - then they shouldn't be in their room on a device. I realise that becomes harder to manage as they get older - but it's at least a good starting point.

Can you set rules that are based around getting out of the house at weekend - or 2 hours of whatever they want but they have to have other plans?

If an adult was sitting in a dark room on a sunny day every weekend watching youtube for hours it wouldnt be healthy either

As someone with a lot of day to day oversight of what kids are seeing/ doing/ spending time on - I promise you we adults need to step up - kids are gaming/ watching youtube instead of actually living their childhoods.

I think the other really important thing is to engage the young person in talking about time spent on screens - get them to talk about how it makes them feel if they spend 2 hours on youtube - do they feel good afterwards? Are they watching youtube shorts which we know are bad for attention span?

If you show them on their devices that they can see how much time they are spending - they will probably be as shocked as you when they see 3/ 4 or 5 hours coming up - its' all part of growing up and learning self regulation.

But let's be realistic 13 year olds need our help to regulate this stuff - even adults find it hard to manage.

@waterrat thanks so much for your thoughts on this- very insightful. Your points are very valid. I have a 10yo too who loves screens but she does a lot of outdoor sports and hobbies so I worry less about her but yes, I agree, children (and adults!) spend too much time on screens to the detriment of a varied balance of interests. I’ve had a bit of an epiphany today, now I’m going to work out what comes next….