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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

I think DD15 is pretending to have periods

4 replies

LBITRL · 13/02/2024 17:21

Some background: DD15 is very short and small for her age - she was referred to CAMHS 18 months ago for being dangerously underweight although after evaluation they said she didn't have anorexia, it was extreme stress and anxiety causing lack of appetite.

Over the following (very difficult) year she did put on a around 1.5 stone, was then discharged from CAMHS. The last 6 months she has lost about 7lbs but weight is now stable as far as I can tell at around 6 stone 10lb. She looks very slim but certainly not unwell as she did before - this weight is within the lower end of the healthy range for her age and height.

More importantly - she eats regularly and seems more relaxed and happy in herself, although Year 11 is obviously stressful for anyone at this stage.

BUT I am very concerned about her periods. There was a lot of talk from CAMHS about how we would know she was at her healthy weight when her periods started. She was desperate to start and was the last of her friends to do so. In Sept, she told me she'd had her first period and obviously, I was really pleased.

Twice more since then, about 5-6 weeks apart, she's said she's had them again. All classic signs saying her chest hurts the day before, that she's extra moody, asking for hot water bottles. This time she told me "I won't be telling you when I get my period in future as it's clear that they are getting more regular so everything is fine"

However (I know this sounds a bit weird) I am starting to worry she is pretending to have them. I have seem not one drop of blood in the toilet, on a sheet. She obsessively bundles all her washing into the washing machine in separate batches so I have not seen her underwear. I thought this is fine, she's just embarrassed and / or maybe her periods are super light. Then this month, having realised that nothing was being put in bathroom bin, I checked her bedroom bin (I know I know - I feel guilty!) and I found 3 pristine pads which had been worn but had not the slightest bit of blood on them.

WWYD? I'm thinking I just need to give her space and wait a few more months and hope that either they do start for real or that I am wrong and that they are just super light. ....

It's breaking my heart that she might feel under so much pressure that she has to make this up though...

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 13/02/2024 17:30

Don’t worry about checking the pads, I did it when DD said she was having heavy periods. She wasn’t, I think she’ll get a shock when they really kick in!

MaloneMeadow · 13/02/2024 22:51

I’d leave her alone, don’t cause extra stress or embarrass her by mentioning your concerns. It could just be that she’s a late bloomer anyway. DD didn’t start until she was 15, and didn’t have regular periods until she was nearly 17! She could easily go months without having one. No other health issues, just purely the natural way that things went. Has she had any growth spurts recently?

mitogoshi · 13/02/2024 22:53

My dd was 16.5, completely normal for smaller lighter girls the gp said. Used to be more common too

Brightandbubly · 13/02/2024 22:57

It will probably take some time for her body to reset now she has put weight back on

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