Autism

[saxon123]

Morning
We suspect our daughter has autism but she isn’t ready for a diagnosis at this point.
she is super bright, articulate and kind with a really good sense of humour.
Her main issues are anxiety (especially in social situations and dealing with change) and making friends. She has a group of people she hangs out with at school but feels she doesn’t fit in with them and is always on the periphery.
She is now 16 and coming to the end of her secondary school life and although her social skills and ways of dealing with her anxiety have improved greatly (she saw a psychologist) ) we are wondering how things are likely to improve or not in the years to come.
If anyone has an older child did you find they became more able to deal with their struggles themselves or did they need ongoing support from professionals? (We will of course provide all the support we can in whatever way, shape or form is needed)
thank you

I think the struggles actually get worse because more is expected from the person.

I think two of the best things to support an undiagnosed autistic adolescent are

(1) her having an understanding and acceptance of her needs, and of how to manage them, and

(2) having someone to talk to, like a life coach or counsellor, especially one who uses CBT techniques.

Managing her needs is not a good choice of words, but I cannot edit on the app. Navigate them would probably be better.

I've read somewhere that DBT might be more effective for people with ASD but please don't ask me to link as I can't find it now

Why would she not want to know? I found out at 35. To be honest though it never occurred to me and if I'd known I probably wouldn't have had my kids.

My DD was diagnosed at 17. She had severe anxiety issues which led to us seeking a diagnosis. We told at the assessment that actually, life gets easier in many ways once they become an adult as they are much more in control of their own lives. This has been the case for her - school was a very tough environment where she was expected to put.up with many situations that she would not be in by choice. Crowds, new people, new places, having to answer questions on demand, public speaking, exams. Now she is at uni, she has chosen what she wants to study, she chooses where she goes and when, what she eats, who she sits with.

That is not to say that life is a bed of roses, but where she has control.most of the time, she is more able to cope with the unexpected the rare occasion where she has no choice eg a&E!

As much as I love mine I probably wouldn't have had mine either

I'd glad I didn't know to be honest . I do feel bad for my kids though x

Hi OP, diagnosis can take years anyway (unless you can go private?) so would she be ok to go on the waiting list knowing it would be a long time before she actually had to go through the assessment process?

Would she be interested in reading books by other autistic people on their experiences etc? If so Siena Castellon's Spectrum Girls Survival Guide may be a good place to start.

My diagnosed dc found the process very distressing because it made them go over in detail things they would rather have ignored. They accepted the diagnosis but could not reconcile themselves to it for another couple of years.

We had dd diagnosed at 17.. both psychologists and psychiatrists have told me HFA in girls should have a different name as it's so completely different to boys

She was a tick list
for it
Anorexia
Social anxiety
Depression
Low self esteem

She is now in uni , we paid for a private diagnosis to help her understand herself and get her help at uni

I see it as her super power as she gets exceptional grades without trying at all.

She is incredibly lazy and struggles with life but is doing ok.

We have tried fluoxetine
Sertraline propranolol and are now trying es citrolaplan (sp)

So we haven't found our perfect medication to help yet but keep trying . We have also done weekly cbt , edmr and counselling .