why is it so hard

[nearlyemptynes]

I have 3 children who are now 21, 18 and 15. On the surface all is good and they are doing well. The eldest has got a degree , is doing his masters and has moved out with his partner, the middle one is doing an Apprenticeship and the youngest , my DD is doing well at school. They all have friends and interests and are confident and social. However, it is most of the time so hard. they all can be so incredibly selfish. Myself and my husband have given them everything and yet they can be so ungrateful. Please tell me it gets better.

My eldest was properly grateful for about 3 days the first time he came home during uni.

I think their brains are set up on selfish mode until at least mid 20s.

DH & I are frequently staggered by DD15’s selfishness so I am absolutely with you on that one OP. One of my friends has said that it took her daughters until they were probably late teens, even early twenties, until they realised how much their Mum ( a single parent) had done for them over the years & is still doing. They are great girls.

Sometimes - when they start work and have to pay for things themselves or when they have children themselves. Stop giving them everything, make them work for what they get.

DD15 is very keen to get a job which we are actively encouraging

I agree, once they start working and have to spend their own money they have a light bulb moment. I have 4 sons 32, 30, 21 and 15 .....I feel like I'm coming to the end of a very long marathon of tantrums, selfishness, and endless washing. I'm sure I will miss it when my last one flys the nest but yes it's been bloody hard work

Thank you to those who have replied, I know the answer but it is good to hear from someone else who has been there x