17 yo DD and motorbike

[mumoftoddlerandteen]

Hi there

I’m after some opinions please as to whether I’m being too ‘tight’ or whatever you would call it with my daughter - age 17.

She’s not wanting to learn to drive a car but wants a motorbike instead. I’m happy for her to have one.

I’ve told her that she can have £1000 from her CTF (child trust fund) to pay towards the bike and my parents have offered a further £100. She’s had some savings from Xmas and birthdays but keeps spending the money. She works in a school holiday club but the hours are very few and far between ie one day in October half term, nothing at Xmas maybe 2 days in February. We’re keen for her to get a part time job - largely for life experience and skills to help her move forwards with getting an apprenticeship or other job when leaving school after year 13 and feel that she needs something more than just odd hours at a school she already attends.

We’ve told her if she gets a part time job then that means she’ll be able to afford the insurance and fuel plus other expenses involved in running a bike and so she can have the £1000 once she’s got a part time job. We’ve offered help if she feels she needs it with applications etc.

Question is - am I being unreasonable? Should I just get her the bike with some more of her savings and insure it for a year to get her going. I can just see it being sat on the drive when she’s not got any money for fuel or tax etc etc.

Sounds reasonable to me. My DD isn't old enough yet but her grandparents will likely buy her a car when she's 17, but she knows it comes with the condition that she gets a job to pay for the running costs of it.

I think I’d use the money to go towards driving lessons to be honest, it’s a life skill and not nearly as dangerous as a motorbike will be

She needs to learn how to drive a car. Getting her a motorbike is shortsighted and won't serve her well in the future. I agree with po that learning to drive is a life skill.

I worked in the traffic dept of the police for many many years.

I would not be getting her a motorbike. Ever.

Regardless of how sensible/mature/ careful you believe her to be, not all other road users aren't.

Driving is a life long skill and one she'll eventually thank you for.

Definitely discourage the motorbike, it's so dangerous. Driving lessons and save for a car.

Never a bike. Far too dangerous, it isn't her but car users who don't see you. Would you even want your child to be hit at 20mph? Of course there are specific safety clothes you can wear that just help you not get your skin shredded but it doesn't stop broken bones.

My sister had a motorbike, she hit a car driver's side door who pulled out from a side street, didn't see her. We were at the scene shortly after it happened. She needed physio for her ankle due to damage.

Mine learned to drive a car, much safer.

We've said a flat no to any kind of bike. Such a dangerous way to experience other drivers on the road for the first time. Happy to buy them lessons at 17 and a car at 18 but no bike.

Big fat no from me to my DC ever getting a motorbike

As for a car luckily we live in a city so no car or any vehicle required

Thank you for all of your replies. I’ve offered the money towards driving lessons instead and she is going to contact an instructor her friends have used. I appreciate all of your responses!

Great news OP!

I had a motorbike at 17. I absolutely loved it, but it wasn’t really practical beyond getting me places quickly . Couldn’t really do shopping on it, got wet and cold a lot. And yes, I went over the bonnet of a car when they pulled out on me. Not my fault, but I came off worse.

Motorcycling is a hobby. If she wants to, do the CBT, learn to ride safely, and carry on training even after she’s passed the tests. The road awareness will help with her car driving. Yes, it’s dangerous, but so is everything. And it’s less dangerous than horse riding, which seems to be more acceptable on here.

Fundamentally though, your DD needs to learn to drive a car as a life skill.