Pregnant at 14

[Evie14]

I did a pregnancy test today and I'm pregnant, I am so scared.
I don't know what to do, I don't want to tell anyone my Dad will be mad.

OP, you’re going to need to tell an adult. It doesn’t have to be your mum or dad, but you’re going to need a bit of help and support. Whether you need an adult to take you to the clinic and (possibly more importantly) bring you home again afterwards might depend on how far along you are and what sort of abortion is needed/you want. The first thing they’ll want to do is an ultrasound scan to work out how far along you are.
Telling an adult at school is a really good idea. You could also tell a friend’s mum maybe? But there’s more risk they would tell your dad because they don’t have professional rules like teachers and drs do.
When you call tomorrow, do tell the medical secretary that you’re 14, pregnant and need some help. The secretary won’t tell your Dad either, and if they know the reason, they will hopefully be able to get you an appointment quickly. Telling a dr tomorrow will be enough to get things in motion. It’s a good plan.

Do you have any other trusted adult, @Evie14 ? You'd be surprised how many women have an inkling of what you are feeling and if you were one of my daughter's friends I'd be there in a flash. If not, any female GP at your local surgery should respect your privacy but help you to make some choices or refer you to BPAS. This doesn't have to ruin your life but some trusted help would make it all so much more bearable. Good luck.

Yes, you can do it without telling an adult.

It's not fair or responsible of other posters to suggest you absolutely must tell a parent. Not all parents react in your best interest.

Tell someone you know will support you. It doesn't need to be a parent. I certainly couldn't have told mine.

I'll tell you my experience and I hope it's reassuring, if that's what you choose.

I had a safe experience as a teenager, and took a friend from school with me. Everyone at the clinic was very supportive and kind. I was 13 weeks, and had to have a general anaesthetic. It was fine. I knew nothing from when I was sedated, and woke up with period pains that lasted about 3 days. I was offered a few sessions of counselling. There was no severe pain at any point apart from the slight prick of the IV. It was absolutely fine.

I'm now almost 40 and I'm extremely grateful that it was available to me, and that it was kept confidential. My life would have been chaos if my parents had known.

This might be helpful OP. BPAS are one of the organizations that provide abortions in the UK. They seem to prefer you to come with a adult to support you, but they can help you find a safe supportive adult if you don’t have anyone you trust. They suggest it could be a teacher or a school nurse.

https://www.bpas.org/abortion-care/under-18/

I had an abortion in my early twenties OP, I told none of my parents, I did tell my brother (I fully trusted him not telling mum and dad). My two female best friends came with me and emotionally supported me the whole time. I entered the clinic at 10 am and left at 12 noon. I'm very glad someone was there with me for emotional support, you really don't want to do this alone OP, so try to find a supportive hand to be there with you. My experience was a very good and easy one, so no regrets. Once you leave the clinic you'll feel a bit woozy and lightheaded, so you want someone to take you home and cook some nice food for you. You'll be fine OP. Talk with your GP tomorrow and bring her a list of questions.

Thank you all for you advice I have a GP appointment booked for 5.30pm x

Well done. Everything will be ok. You’ve taken the first step now. That was probably the hardest part.

That’s great! Please update us on how it went. Best luck with everything. Sending hugs.

Well done, you're very brave, I hope it goes well and you get the information you need x

Well done for making an app. I really hope you have someone you can talk to xx

Hi Evie, this happened to me, aged 15 years, a long time ago. I decided to have an abortion. I didn’t tell my parents and they never found out. There’s a lot of good advice from the other posters, please seek out someone you can trust, quickly - this is a really hard time for you, but you will get through it and be ok. Whatever you decide, you don’t have to deal with this all on your own, there are lots of people who can help you. Thinking of you.

Well done for booking the appointment. I hope you are getting some support now.

My appointment went ok and my GP has referred me to the abortion service.

I haven't told anyone else yet, I was going to talk to one of my teachers today but I ended up not going to school I had a really bad headache and was sick.

I need to tell someone soon, someone who can take and pick me up from the clinic and maybe stay with after it, I don't know how much pain I will be in after.

Thank you all again for your help 🙂

Well done on going to your GP, that was brave. Best of luck, if I was an adult in your life I would do anything I could to support you.
💐 take care of yourself ❤

That's great news. The headache is most probably due to the stress you're going through mixed with hormonal changes so don't worry. It's also normal to feel sick in the mornings when you're pregnant, this all goes away after an abortion. Do you have a school nurse? A teacher you get along with? An adult you fully trust? Any friend who won't tell your dad? I remember I was given the option for full anaesthesia (they put you to sleep for 10 minutes) or partial anaesthesia (they numb you from your waist down), I'm very glad I chose the full anaesthesia because it makes you NOT remember a thing. You won't really be in pain right after the procedure, but you'll feel a tad "crampy" (like when you get your period) and a bit lightheaded, that's when a friend coming to pick you up comes in handy. Make sure you have a healthy meal when you get home and a good night sleep. You'll be fine. Sending lots of hugs.

Perhaps one of your friend’s mums could be there for you?

there is also an organisation called the Abortion Support Network, they support women travelling to the UK to access abortions, but if you live in London, Manchester or Liverpool where they have hosts, they may be able to help you?