Confidence gone mine

Flyhigher · 2024-01-22T16:01:38+00:00

Having a DD to 11 is amazing. Hard but amazing. From 11 to 16 it has just destroyed me. I am a shell. It's not just her it's work and menopause and stuff. But she has been the bit that has broken me I think. I coped in life before. Anyone else felt the same?

Knackeredmommy · 22/01/2024 16:34

I get it, the teen years are bloody hard. My DD has had CAMHS involvement and Im so anxious and constantly monitoring her mood. I guess peri may be involved too, I had some counselling to work on focusing more on my own needs, that helped a lot.

Mementobento · 22/01/2024 16:55

Completely agree. I have three teenagers , it’s been the most challenging time of my life bar none.
The walking on eggshells, the worry about where they are, the amount of emotional energy they require… it’s just exhausting.
50 newborns would be easier.
It’s as if they’re little mirrors designed to reflect back at you all of your perceived flaws as a human. You’ve been trundling along with a modicum of self acceptance and spontaneity and joie de vivre and then all of a sudden you’re reminded daily that you don’t earn enough, or you work too much, or you’re too uptight , or too relaxed.. whatever you’re doing basically, you’re doing it wrong. Or at least that how it feels.
When mine were toddlers I felt we had all the freedom in the world, I’d just stick them in the buggy and go. Now it’s like even the smallest event requires military precision planning for fear of somebody kicking off 🙈

Original poster

Flyhigher · 29/01/2024 05:51

Mementobento · 22/01/2024 16:55

Completely agree. I have three teenagers , it’s been the most challenging time of my life bar none.
The walking on eggshells, the worry about where they are, the amount of emotional energy they require… it’s just exhausting.
50 newborns would be easier.
It’s as if they’re little mirrors designed to reflect back at you all of your perceived flaws as a human. You’ve been trundling along with a modicum of self acceptance and spontaneity and joie de vivre and then all of a sudden you’re reminded daily that you don’t earn enough, or you work too much, or you’re too uptight , or too relaxed.. whatever you’re doing basically, you’re doing it wrong. Or at least that how it feels.
When mine were toddlers I felt we had all the freedom in the world, I’d just stick them in the buggy and go. Now it’s like even the smallest event requires military precision planning for fear of somebody kicking off 🙈

Thank you. This is so it. Xxx

OP posts:

piscofrisco · 29/01/2024 06:57

I've two DD's 16 and 18. Dd2 has been especially hard in terms of her behaviour, (idiotic stuff that ended very badly for her unfortunately and the aftermath has been awful). However DD1 whilst behaving well and causing no issue can be so cutting and unpleasant at times that it has actually affected my mental health. Of course I love them both and they both can still be lovely half the time. But I never know what I'm going to get with them and I'm exhausted with it frankly. People talk about how sad they will be when their teens move out and go to uni etc. I'm actively looking forward to it to be honest. I will miss them but I hope that not living with them and them maturing a bit independently will give us a better relationship in the end.