The state of schools

[Mumofteens4892]

Anyone else concerned about where they are sending their kids every day? I am considering home educating or online learning.

The stories I hear about bullying, fights, continual punishments, angry teachers and poor leadership are just so depressing. Even the Headteacher is a bully who shouts and screams at the kids. It’s toxic.

My 14yr old absolutely hates it, and so do all his mates. He is academically fine but has mental health issues and the teachers either don’t care or they have no idea what it means. Even less idea about how to help.

I am postgrad degree-educated myself, but I am currently wondering whether it is worth the awful effects of the continual stress on my son.

Just venting really, and hoping other people don’t also have this experience! But a sneaky feeling it’s all-too-common.

It is getting tougher in schools certainly. Too few teachers, too much stress, no support for teenagers from any other services.

Sorry not to be more positive!

Agree. It’s so hard to try and keep them positive and engaged when it’s clear the whole thing is falling apart. The ridiculous punishments are just awful and so demoralising. The teachers haven’t got the life force to inspire, and the ones who want to misbehave are still running riot.

As a teacher I doubt your son' s teachers do not care. The pastoral system IMO is broken. There are more demands on outside agencies yet less provision. There are too many pupils who choose to disrupt the lessons,; generally discipline is worsening and we do not have the strategies to cope with it. Add to this those parents who divorce themselves of all respondibility for their child's behaviour and burnt-out teachers. It is a powder keg. I usually think that pupils miss out on the social interaction of school when they are home schooled. Is there anyway a few of you could do the home schooling in a small group? I hope you find some resolution OP

In over 20 years working in secondary schools I can tell you it’s never been this hard. There’s no money for anything, everyone’s knackered because they’ve been working on a shoestring forever, parents have never been angrier and we can’t recruit anyone. Add into that more SEND, poor mental health of kids and cost of living and I don’t blame you for thinking of home education. If mine were younger I’d likely be thinking the same. Please know though that there’s good people working in schools and looking out for your kid. There’s good teachers and TAs and good leadership. We’re just all stretched beyond belief.

Good luck with the online learning. Home learning is not as easy as you might think and while I didn't have an issue with the lockdowns, we are seeing now it coming back to bite it in the arse as the social skills, ability and general attitude of several pupils and parents is shocking. I left this year and thank god I did. There are some shit teachers but the majority are people who do care but get no thanks for it from management or parents. Most of the time management sit in their offices, often thanks to being good at saying the right buzz words vs. Actual being good at teaching or managing people.
Class sizes are awful. I taught 490 children every week last year. Year on year support needs increased, last year 65% had some sort of additional need. It was impossible to successfully differentiate resources, prep, mark, teach, do all the nonsense management generated guff and successfully get to know pupils. Sometimes parents forget how many pupils you teach and see in a day and you get called for everything if you don't respond to their needs instantly. Resources like TEAMs also mean there is an expectation you can be contacted at any time and behaviour and accountability is shocking. There are ofcourse mental health issues but there is also an awful lot of pandering and parents wanting to be their child's best friend rather than parent. I say this as a parent but you are doing them no favours constantly providing excuses for homework not being done or justifying poor behaviour
The final straw was when I ask a child in the school to pick up rubbish they dropped and was told to f**k off. The school didn't back me and the parent (v. Middle class area and good school) told me my job was teach not to police. Said child and pals then made several tik to videos with my image being put in bins etc and again school did nothing and parents said it was just a joke. When I basically 'quiet quite and did my actual job remit I faced a disciplinary because it was expected that every teacher ran a club/activity at least one lunchtime a week and did corridor duty two break times a week (this is my break I am expected to give up) and I refused as it was not in my contract. I also had several parental complaints because I did not run supported study sessions (for free and during my easter holidays) and because called their 'person' by the wrong name. Incidentally this person (how they refer to their child) is non binary and depending on how they feel that day goes by a different name, if they are feeling male they will wear a denim jacket and hair up no make up and if they are feeling female they wear earring, depending on how they feel they wish for a different name and expect us to know.
It is a nightmare but really

@BCBird can I ask what do you think has changed/worsened specifically in the pastoral system?

Interested because in DC says in her school the pastoral team's attitude has changed hugely very quickly. They were helpful to her in year 8, now in year 10 she won't contemplate approaching them (same members of staff). She says they just police uniform and attendance rules.

Would be interesting to her your take.

Sorry, OP. I'm not surprised you are thinking of home schooling. Like a PP, my main reservation would be the lack of socialisation (depending on his environment).

@BCBird you asked "Is there anyway a few of you could do the home schooling in a small group?" That's actually quite a common home ed approach at this age, because kids preparing for (I)GCSEs can benefit from specialist teaching. There are many options to get ready for each exam, one of which is to get together in a group with a tutor once or twice a week. Often the teens hang out together for a few hours afterward.

In general, it can be a little tricky to make friends when starting home ed during the GCSE years. Teens can be a bit nervous, and aren't quite as easy to just chuck in to the park together as younger kids. Also, they're rather more nose-to-grindstone when working toward exams, with busier schedules and less time for home ed groups. They are less busy than their schooled peers, but more busy than younger home ed kids. Really it depends what is available locally, and whether the teen happens to find the right people. My area has some good social opportunities for teens now, but ten years ago when my eldest was that age it relied on luck or being very outgoing.

OP, you might like to explore the local home ed scene to see whether you think it would suit your son socially.

Of course, if he thoroughly hates school and is really suffering there, then it could be a good idea to pull him out regardless. Home education might not be perfect for him in all ways, but still the overall package might be better than school currently is for him.

Yes my Grandsons are home educated.. for their mental health.. you don't have to be qualified yourself.. my daughters aren't.
Youngest is age 9 with youngest daughter.
Eldest daughter has 3 sons and eldest is at Uni after being home educated..
It's not all sit at table and do the " school work"
It can be anywhere you want.. they go to home Ed groups/ outings. Museums
/ libraries / swimming.
They are all above their peers too.. nine year old has just completed 5 maths programmes aimed at 12 year olds.

Have just ventured into the loft to find an old PE top so ds doesn’t get a detention for not having the correct pe top. He can’t use the white one outside and a solid history of bringing kit doesn’t mean they will lend you a shirt from the kit bag. Too many rules, too little tolerance and fun and a lot of bullying of staff.

I teach somewhere philosophically much kinder but we are undersubscribed and full of the children the super strict academies off roll. Huge SEND need, vulnerable families and this year a wave of children who didn’t even arrive from mainstream but who had no where else to go. I have very rarely been called names until this year when I have been called a ‘cunt’ most days. I have a shitload of ‘life force’ and do ‘inspire’ many a pupil but confess there is not too much I can do with ones throwing chairs, screaming sexualised insults or trying assault other students. I have never met students so hard to connect with and their futures are very very bleak.

We need a change in government - that would help!

Can I ask how they teach maths? I would love to HE personally.

I am so thankful that my DC go to a decent state comp. It's big and very mixed. 30% pupil premium. There are rules but not stupid. There are incidents and my DC shrug them off but it's not daily or always violent etc
Staff seem to genuinely enjoy teaching there. I have an adhd DD and they are brill

Brilliant with her. But the issues are clear around

• kids not diagnosed with sen as CAMHS efc have massive wait lists
• no funding to help them
• no finding for extra stuff to support sen kids
• loads of trips etc but only if you can pay

Try a different school. The school I taught at was horrendous I got rape threats and all sorts. My Dd's school less than a mile down the road is completely different, high aspirations for students, excellent SEND and pastoral support, very positive culture and students thrive, the Principal and his Leadership team are fantastic.

That's why I pay for private education. I'm scared of sending my daughter to places like posters describe.

Socially we are overwhelmed with the choice of home ed activities, meet ups and trips. There seems to be at least 4-5 things happening each day to choose from. We do live in London though.

Same here. School shouldn't have to be a battle or somewhere where kids feel unsafe or witness violent behaviour.