Football coach crushing DD's confidence.

[CurlyTop1980]

Hi

I'm worried that DD is gonna drop out of a team sport because of the coach's attitude towards her. Shes really sporty but coming up to the age when girls tend to drop out. She plays football at County level and is outstanding when she plays with the County team. But when she plays with her Saturday team (who play at Junior PL level) her coach tells her to only pass to one particular player. He also doesn't let her do set pieces and she is starting to feel like she's not good footballer. She's been scouted for a couple of the big London academies (based on her County matches). But they want a reference from her coaches. But her confidence is so low with her JPL team that she doesn't want to even go to the training at the academies as her coach has gotten into her head and she feels she's not good enough.

Has anyone else been in this predicament. She's 14. So game academies start at u14 for girls. Would you say something ti the coach?

Hello
really sorry to hear things are tough for your daughter. Having a child at similar age who suffered also from confidence due to a coach I would say move her if possible. As an adult I would usually always talk about the problem and try to resolve but sometimes if the coach already has this type of character it can even make it worse, and can impact your daughter more. Staying in this situation will not help grow her confidence - have a look at other local teams and see if she’d be happy to move. You don’t need to say why. Keep it positive. I know this sounds defeatist but sometimes you can’t change people and most important is to find a place your daughter enjoys training, feels valued and gets her self belief back. Continue the county training, work on her confidence and hopefully she can go to some of the academy trials and move on. Good luck!

Thanks for your message. I forgot I posted this and only cane back to MN today!

She's been asked to train over the Feb half term for one large academy in North London. So fingers crosses. Her Saturday coach has basically kept her on as a sub for his "main team". She trains 3 times a week to be subbed on for about 15 minutes to rest one of his "preferred players" and then she's back off again and the other player comes back on. It's pretty soul destroying for her to be honest

Fantastic! I hope she really enjoys it in February and it leads to something else for her.
You’re so right - it is soul destroying; and a coach like that won’t change.
But February sounds a great opportunity and even being invited will be good for her confidence - hope it goes great!

The fact that she's been asked to train by the academy in February means that she's really good. Sadly the Coach sounds like a bit of an idiot. I hope your DD can focus on how much she enjoys the County football and how good she is at the sport.