Pocket Money

[RabbitsRock]

I posted about this before but would appreciate any advice. DD15 gets £25 a week. When we increased it from £20, I tried to make it clear what the pocket money was for & what we would pay for. DH & I basically buy her clothes, shoes, toiletries, transport, food. DD is supposed to buy any snacks, drinks etc she has when out with her friends also make up, jewellery, music etc. She keeps insisting that I should go halves on make up. Apparently I said a while back that I would go halves on hair dye but I have no recollection of this. DD dyes her hair a lot so it would be an expensive business! Oh, I also pay her phone bill which isn’t big as she’s gone sim only.
DD often complains that she’s not getting enough & that she has to pay for everything. She doesn’t do any chores so we tell her she’s lucky to get any money at all! She always gets money from everyone for birthday & Christmas which adds up to a considerable sum but it burns a hole in her pocket. Tried encouraging her to save for stuff she really wants/needs.
Would be interested to know what everyone else does with their teens. DD is keen to get a job which is in her favour at least.

We have the same approach with same amount of money ; I do actually buy her hair dye but it’s a fiver about every 3 months so not massive. She can earn extra money by doing jobs around the house but has an over inflated sense of what she should get then gets arsey and won’t do it for what we offer so it doesn’t often happen.
What kind of make up does she buy? I’ll buy the odd £12 mascara but my DD loves expensive make up that I don’t even justify for myself so that’s only presents or her own money

I think £25 a week is very reasonable since she’s only paying for treats for herself.

Id stick to my guns and say that she should consider herself lucky.

If you want to compromise then I’d write a list of extra jobs she could do (washing cars etc), and say each one is worth x amount. So if she’s run out of money and needs half the money for hair dye she can earn it. It’s great she wants to get a job (she’ll start to realise then the value of money)

Mine get £10 a week plus they have present money.

Mine (14 & 15) get £10 a week, which they earn by doing some basic daily chores like a dog walk and the dishes.
I top up with a couple quid here and there if they're doing something "extra" with friends.
If they need more than that as extra, they can earn it by doing some other chores.

Like yourself, we pay phones, clothing, gym memberships, toiletries etc. They need to save up if they want something over & above.
They also get £4 each school day for lunch money, which I think is extrortionate!

I'm a single Mum. No way could I afford to give my kids that. I'd honestly pull right back until your daughter realised how much she was getting.

My 15 year old DD gets £35 a month but pays £8 towards her phone out of that. I pay for clothes, toiletry necessities etc. She pays for makeup, days out with her friends and any snacks she wants. And she takes a packed lunch to school which she makes herself every day.

After reading this thread I feel like I'm not giving her enough but she hasnt complained yet.

DD (16) gets £75/month but has a standing order of £15 from it to a savings account.

We buy the majority of clothes, food, school required items, normal toileteries like shower gel/shampoo and some presents for friends (people we see as family friends we know since they were all in nursery together).

DD has to cover make up (unless I have enough Boots points she is allowed to spend), coffee shops, snacks, cinema, school friend presents and whatever she wants to buy.

We pay if she is away over mealtime, so if she is out with friends for a day/meet at lunch, I give her £10, if she wants more she is paying herself.

I genuinely don’t understand “doesn’t do chores”. In our house everyone had to pull their weight as they grew up, absolutely nothing to do with pocket money or anything else. When younger they all had jobs to do because they were part of the family so had to contribute. They weren’t exactly down the mines, just had to set the table, clear up, load and unload dishwasher, put bins and recycling out, feed and walk dogs, put their laundry away etc. We covered most expenses and gave some pocket money on top. Might have felt differently about it if I thought my kids were taking the piss.

flatandhappy we have tried allsorts to get DD to help around the house. She does have mental health issues but tends to use them as an excuse quite often. She’s on the spectrum so we find that consequences don’t really work eg no pocket money if you’re not prepared to do at least a few chores. It’s very difficult!

DD has ASD and we are also waiting for a ADHD diagnosis. She also suffers from crippling anxiety and panic disorder.

She still has to help, setting and clearing the table, putting laundry away, helping with rubbish, helping when a second pair of hands is needed (she needs some form of notice but otherwise does it).

She is not paid for it, we all do things around the house so the pocket money is just to learn to budget and save/spend.

god i feel miserly! Our 3 teens get £25 a month!!!

We pay for phones, toiletries, clothes, Gym, spotify etc and if they go out with friends we will give some extra money for food/entrance etc

DD is 15 and has a saturday job so earns another £120 a month which she spends on music, 'fashion' clothes from vinted, concert tickets etc.

DS1 is 17 and doesnt even spend his pocket money but has ASD so doesnt really socialise and doesnt really want 'stuff'

DS2 is 13 and spends it all on computer games!!

They do chores around the house but this is not linked to pocket money and they do it as they all live in the house so everyone has to contribute to keeping it clean and tidy! especially as me and DH work fulltime, although DH WFH.

£100 a month seems a lot tbh. Why doesn't she have a job? I was walking at age 15 doing paper round, babysitting, waitressing etc. i didn't get pocket money. I don't actually ever remember having pocket money.

I give mine £25 a month - but we literally pay for everything so it really is for snacks and treats when out with friends . One son saves it most of the time

DD13 currently gets £10 a week and she doesn't spend it all though I expect that to change as she gets older. I pay for all clothes, toiletries and necessities etc. she knows I will only be able to increase if we become more comfortable and she understands it could go the other way too. I might be out of touch but I think £100 when you are covering all necessities and then some is really nice. She may have more disposable income than some working people with no financial responsibility.

wasanneofcleves she’s currently looking for a job. We live in Cornwall so there will be more around in the summer. She really wants to babysit but isn’t ready for the responsibility.