Daughter has BF. I am Feeling lonely, is this normal

[abbott1]

Hi,

My daughter is 16 and It is only the 2 of us at home. I am feeling really lonely 😔. My daughter has a boyfriend (who is really nice and they are both happy!) they spend all the weekends together and see there friends independently too. Because it is just me in the home over the last week I have felt really lonely particularly in the evenings. I got myself into such a state about it and started to feel quite panicky about being alone. I know this probably sounds a bit crazy.

has anyone felt this? Also any advice how not to feel sad : ideas to keep busy.

I have friends who are single parents and think this is a common feeling when the kids get older/leave home.

Do you have any hobbies? Maybe new year, new challenge? Something like a marathon or similar, where you have to train at weekends.

I can imagine this is fairly normal.

I hope you feel better soon

Yes, normal, and time to find out what you like to do in preparation for when she leaves home.

It’s normal. It’s not fair to make any of this known to her though. Time to try and find a life that doesn’t depend on her for company anymore. I genuinely understand that’s hard as I’ve been there so no judgement here X

do you work? hobbies? friends?

is she in year 11?

i recall your thread about the BF staying until almost midnight

at 16, my daughter still wouldn’t have the freedom or indeed the time to spend with a boyfriend
what about studying??
other friends??
sports? hobbies?

and even if my 16 year old did t have all her studying commitments, riding and wanting to see her girlfriends…. I wouldn’t want her to be all weekend every weekend with a boyfriend.

Did you read the OP at all? The OP said her DD also sees her friends. A 16 year old having a BF is perfectly normal and acceptable.

I can imagine that you would be upset and bored. You've put in the hard years to raise her, it's time for you to find yourself again, as a person who isn't just their Mum 💐

My daughter has a boyfriend (who is really nice and they are both happy!) they spend all the weekends together and see there friends independently too.

i read that as boyfriend all over the weekend

and friends independently during the week

MY ds is 16. I'm expecting the same this summer.

So I've started to consciously build my social life again. I've joined the parish council to meet more people nearby. I Parkrun and and volunteer sometimes. I've joined an archery club at the weekends.

It will be a new stage in both our lives. I'm trying to embrace it ( and not feel too intimidated).

Could you do an evening class? Have a look at local colleges to see what's on offer? You need to find some interests just for you.

Time to build your life again. My kid is 11 and I’m acutely aware that I need to foster and continue to build relationships- not necessarily dating - so that when she leaves and it’s just me I have a life. Time to focus on the things you want to do!

My dd18 has a bf and it's a big change as they're either together or online all the time. She's home from uni just now - but feels like she's not here! It's the late evening I notice it most as we would usually chat around bedtime - but now she's online late chatting. It's great for her of course - but I do feel the loss. It's bound to happen though, sooner or later.

I’m the same except mine has left for uni. I’ve got myself a sewing machine and joined a few craft groups. I’ve also joined a gym but that isn’t going as well (too lazy!)

It sounds completely normal and the beginning of being an Empty Nester. Time to let yourself feel sad but then figure our ways to have interests and make more friends so you aren't dependent on your DD for positive feedback.

My kids are also older and have great bfs/gfs. I'm grateful that I have raised children who are successfully socialized and have a full life. It would be much worse if she was miserable at home and was struggling. Be proud your child is launching successfully.

I can’t help but feel that with that kind of attitude your DD may well have a boyfriend at 16, but you may be kept in the dark about it!

Surely you have hobbies & friends of your own? It’s not healthy to rely on your child for company. Get yourself out more & develop your own interests as she’ll be gone completely soon.