My son (only child) left home to go to college last August and I really miss him. Sometimes I get really hung up on things I did/didn't do when he was young - nothing bad, I was/am always a super-loving parent, just little things (driven by my own issues) where I feel I could have done more or done better. Little sliding doors moments, the what ifs...?
He had a bad time at secondary school. He was never in trouble, but I could never get through to him to work out if it was school per se, or problems with other kids, or general teenage contrariness. That's perhaps my and DH's biggest failing. We were always available to listen, but never really got through. I just wonder if my natural pessimism had any bearing. I know I tend to catastrophize.
It just seems the last 18 years have absolutely whizzed by, and I just think I didn't make the most of that time. I think I gave as much as I could at the time, but looking back I can't help thinking it wasn't enough.
Thanks for getting this far! Any tips or recommendations for resources/books etc for working through this would be much appreciated. TIA.