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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Regret

2 replies

cazzcam · 08/01/2024 09:33

My son (only child) left home to go to college last August and I really miss him. Sometimes I get really hung up on things I did/didn't do when he was young - nothing bad, I was/am always a super-loving parent, just little things (driven by my own issues) where I feel I could have done more or done better. Little sliding doors moments, the what ifs...?

He had a bad time at secondary school. He was never in trouble, but I could never get through to him to work out if it was school per se, or problems with other kids, or general teenage contrariness. That's perhaps my and DH's biggest failing. We were always available to listen, but never really got through. I just wonder if my natural pessimism had any bearing. I know I tend to catastrophize.

It just seems the last 18 years have absolutely whizzed by, and I just think I didn't make the most of that time. I think I gave as much as I could at the time, but looking back I can't help thinking it wasn't enough.

Thanks for getting this far! Any tips or recommendations for resources/books etc for working through this would be much appreciated. TIA.

OP posts:
TeenDivided · 09/01/2024 14:53

I have lots of 'what ifs' with mine.
What if their SEN had been picked up earlier (I was fobbed off by primary school for both my DC)? What if we had handled DD1 differently when she turned 16? What if we hadn't been so distracted by DD1 we had realised what was happening with DD2. etc.

Ultimately though, no parent is perfect, we all strive to be 'good enough'. You did what you could, your son is on his next steps, sounds like you did OK. Smile

Aquamarine1029 · 09/01/2024 15:02

You're a brilliant mum and I know that because you care so deeply. A neglectful parent would never be reflecting on the past like you are.

Most of us do the very best we can, and none of us get everything right.

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