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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Co parenting legal advice UK

6 replies

GeminiCancer · 04/01/2024 23:28

My 13 year old is NOT refusing contact with her father but has decided after trying 50/50 for a few months, that she no longer wants to go 50/50 and would like to revert back to the original arrangement of going Saturday to Sunday every week. (There are no court orders, UK based).
My DD has had this arrangement for 11+ years of only going on a Saturday til Sunday and has stated she feels her father guilt tripped and manipulated her into trying 50/50 care and that ahe only done it to make him happy. (This is a problem in itself for me as she is sacrificing her wants and needs for someone else’s).
She doesn’t like his OH either and has stated she doesn’t feel comfortable in their home.
There have been several times through the years where she has wanted to refuse all contact due to something he has said or done but I’ve always worked with him to try and resolve the issue and encourage her to have a relationship with him.
I know my daughter loves her dad but he really has made it very difficult at times and done all the wrong things to make her feel loved and cared for.
We had a meeting to discuss the arrangements reverting back to how they were and it basically devolved into him threatening to take me to court as I refuse to make her go 50/50 when she is unhappy and Saturday to Sunday doesn’t suit him anymore.

I wonder if anyone has experience or knowledge of how a court would view this. Surely no judge would force her to go more than she wants after all this time?

Very hopeful someone has some solid advice around this. Thanks.

OP posts:
YellowRoses100 · 07/01/2024 11:20

Let him go to court and waste his money. The voice of the child is very much listened too at your DD age. So she will get what she wants.

GeminiCancer · 07/01/2024 14:46

@YellowRoses100 Thank you. This is what I thought but it’s nice to get a bit of reassurance. I’ve practically raised her alone from 2 years old and don’t understand the sudden urgency to have her 50/50 when she’s nearly grown. She’ll be 14 soon and then I’d of guessed even if he did take me to court it would be another year or more before we’d even be before a judge.
The only reasoning I can see is he bought a new (big) house with his mrs and kids and maybe they bit of more than they can chew because apparently all of a sudden child maintenance is also a big issue or even asking him to buy her anything.

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Wishitsnows · 07/01/2024 14:51

Let him take you to court. Some areas it is actually quite quick and would only be a couple of months. They will not enforce a 14 year old to do 50/50 when she doesn’t want to. It will be clear it’s just about what he wants not thinking of the child’s best interests. So difficult for her though that he is being manipulative

34weekmess · 07/01/2024 14:54

She's 13, court will listen to what she wants aslong as it's reasonable, which it is !

GeminiCancer · 07/01/2024 16:36

@Wishitsnows i agree. We sat down to talk with him and it was just absolutely counterproductive. They both tried to turn everything back on my DD. They couldn’t take any accountability for any of it. Such a difficult situation for her to be in and just feel so sorry for her having to deal with that.

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GeminiCancer · 07/01/2024 16:37

@34weekmess thank you! This is very reassuring. I’d hate to think of her being forced to dance to his tune after all this time.

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