Motivating a “stuck” 16yr old

[Mumofteens4892]

He’s not in education. He’s bored ALL the time.

He doesn’t look after himself.

He doesn’t want a job.

He doesn’t want therapy, won’t see a GP.

I’ve lined up a lot of opportunities for him in the past, and he’s given up on all of it. He says he’s not interested in anything at all - despite being very talented at many different things in the past.

I feel like just stepping back entirely, focusing on MY life for once and letting him feel the boredom. I’m always there for him of course, and he knows this, but I’m all out of ideas.

Can anyone offer me some hope that he might turn this around for himself? What can I do? I feel powerless.

Why isn't he in education?

I was in the same boat with my 16 year old earlier this year when he stopped going to school and seemed so depressed and lost. The best thing to happen was him being offered a job in construction through a family friend - he loved being in an adult environment, earning money, doing hands on stuff rather than being in a classroom. He is a different boy these days after a few months working full time.

I would try and encourage him to get a job anyway you can (I totally understand this is easier said than done though). Staying home bored can get them into a negative cycle where the more bored they are the more unmotivated they get - well that is what happened to my son. It was only once he was busy he got into a better state of mind.

Unsupported dyslexia for years. Despite a clear diagnosis, an EHCP and me advocating endlessly. Off-rolled from secondary in Y10 and placed in Alternative Provision. He hated it there and stopped attending halfway through Y11.

I’ve asked SO many people / departments for help in the past year. No-one wants to know. And also he doesn’t want any help. He still has an EHCP but it is meaningless. The SEN dept pretty much ignore us.

He refuses to even think about college, work experience or getting a job. I think his confidence/ motivation/ mood is too low for these things.

If you forget about educational development, is there anything he would enjoy as a hobby?such as walking or cycling or swimming, something like that? Get him out and see that he can get enjoyment from something? This in turn could lead to a job opportunity.