18 year old unhappy and going into self destruct

[StottyJ]

My 18 year old is struggling massively. She has tried an attempt on her life at the end of November and since then she is just out all the time till 6am most nights. She went to go and they put her on antidepressants and told her to refer for therapy which she won't do. She works in a bar so is around alcohol a lot. She goes out after work and then doesn't come home till early hours normally around 6/7 in the morning. Since November I'm on high alert all the time and struggling to sleep massively all the time. I've tried talking to her and she promises this and that and then next day just does it again. She promises that there is no drug use but she has been lying a lot recently so I don't know. She has mental health issues I know this and I try to help her every day but she just keeps putting herself in danger by being out in town. She was touched inappropriately by some creepy weirdo when walking alone to get cab the other night but won't go to the police. Im a single mum and I'm struggling so much. I don't know what to do

I’m sorry that must be so worrying for you. It’s unlikely she’s taking drugs every single night. For one thing she would develop tolerance and they would stop working. Could she be seeing a boy maybe ?

She sounds a little like me at that age. I was a very unhappy young person who used socialising and drinking to escape. And I put myself in vulnerable situations but was mostly fine. Therapy would have been brilliant for me but I didn't want to confront that I was unhappy.

I also used to work in a bar and it was often the norm to so sit about the bar chatting after clearing up and then go on to someone's house for a party. While the nocturnal lifestyle won't be great for her mental health, try not to worry as it doesn't necessarily mean anything too sinister.

It sounds like you are doing all the right things to support her, and she is lucky to have you. Does she have any hobbies, or passions or life goals you can encourage her towards to try and give her a positive sense of purpose? It sounds like that is what she is missing although depression makes that difficult.

Lots of teens find therapy very threatening and difficult. It may be that she is able to move towards it when she is a bit older.

In the meantime, it is very good that she has been to the GP and is on anti depressants. That's a really good step.

In similar circumstances with my DD I removed all sharp objects from her room and her bathroom. We made an agreement that if she ever felt like self harming or suicide again she would get me and I would be there for her, which she did many times.

It's really hard for you, I do feel for you. Supporting a child through this is very hard, and many other people don't understand.

Look after yourself as well - do some things that give you time for yourself.

Not that I'm aware of but she only tells me what she wants me to know. One stipulation I insisted on that she is staying true too is having her location on so I know she's in pubs / clubs. The seedy ones that are open until the sun comes up. I know I was 18 once and I think if she hadn't tried to hurt herself after being out one night i wouldn't be as worried. I am signed off work since it happened and I'm taking steps with therapy to help myself so I can support her but I just want her to be better and not put herself in such vulnerable positions