NYE away from us

[Flyhigher]

Hi,
Had two NYE away from the teen. She's now 16. And missed at least one with Covid so lost the last four NYE's. Am sad. How did other mums cope? Does your DD16 do NYE with you ?

Mine are both out with friends… I’m out too with dh. Will have NY food together. All good

Sorry17yo is youngest …

Do you have plans with anyone? Try and enjoy it without DD

Does it matter? Are you on your own if she is not there?

I’d actually be quite upset if mine (DS16 in our case) didn’t have plans with friends- I remember having fantastic NY parties as a teenager and glad he’s hopefully experiencing the same! Much rather he was out having fun than feeling left out or bored at home.

We missed a lot of NYE now with teen. 2 in Covid , 2 with friends. I wanted sort of this last one. Not to happen.

NYE has always been for friends once they are around that age as far as I'm concerned. Far more fun for them to see it in with friends than their parents that they have probably had enough of over Christmas anyway.

How do mums cope with what?

I didn't have a lot of friends at that age and it was boring and depressing being at home with my parent on nye. Be grateful she has a social life. I don't know what you mean by how do mums cope?

Both DSs - 16 and 20 - out for NYE again. Just happy that they've got a far better social life than (extremely introverted) me. But it is someone else's turn to pick DS2 and his mates up at 1am this year 😋.

She’s 16. I haven’t seen in the New Year with DD since she was 14! She’s always away enjoying herself at a party and DH and I are perfectly happy at our own party. Of course it’s normal for her to want to be out with friends on New Years Eve. It’s not her fault that you somehow feel you’ve ‘missed out’ and she shouldn’t feel pressured to miss out on fun with her friends because of this. You sound a very overbearing and overly attached mum!

Just because your teen isn't with you for NYE doesn't mean it's missed, it's just different.

She's growing up and there will be times where she won't be with you at Christmas or other key dates. You need to build up your own life independent of your child as well as adapting to parenting a young adult.

@Flyhigher

I'm sorry you feel sad/upset, but honestly it's normal for them to be off out with friends at her age.

Friends of mine do 'Family New Year' their kids are 17 & 20 and have never been allowed to spend time with friends. Not having friends at theirs or play dates, going to friends, going out with friends. The eldest is at uni & he comes home every weekend, all holidays. They pick him up & take him back practically every weekend. I think it's very claustrophobic, & limiting.

Let DD start to use her wings.

while she's only 16, I wouldn't drink & id pick her up.

I've never seen the new year in with my ds, who is 10. We're all asleep by 11pm!

Going against the grain a bit: We see new year in with our siblings and their kids. Nine kids, aged 12-17. As far as I know, kids all happy with the arrangement - certainly none of mine have ever asked to do anything different. I know they will at some point, and it'll be sad in some ways, but also a new stage, and that's OK.
I hope you are able to enjoy your NYE. From all the responses on here, it sounds like spending it with friends is a completely normal thing for a teen to want to do.

🤦🏻‍♀️

16 & 19. One is put with BF the older one is going drinking with friends. I hope they have a lovely time.