Daughters BF manipulating with suicide threats

[Sydney1012]

My daughter is almost 13. She’s had a school bestie for three years Katie, who came to our house very regularly. When ever my daughter has her other school friend Emma sleep over there’s some bullying from Katie towards Emma.

this last term Katie has been relentless towards Emma asking my daughter end of year to choose between friends. All the girls were invited to a birthday party and Katie said she planned to bully Emma at the party so my daughter didn’t want to attend and told Emma. So they didn’t go. then Katie said the amount of times she’s tried to take her own life because of Emma is “crazy” along with some other strong words about suicide. She previously showed my daughter suicide notes but didn’t let her read them.

I notified the school about this for next year as they were all put in the same class again.

my daughter is no longer friends with Katie. I personally find the whole situation utterly sickening, that level of manipulation and the pressure. It’s basically wrecked and put a huge dampner on our school holidays. I can not believe 12-13 year old children would go to that extent.

I just needed to vent 😪 that is so messed up behaviour. I didn’t contact Katie’s parents about this and I was quite close with them both. She hasn’t contacted us either. Katie’s now blocked on my daughter’s phone. What a rotten ending.

Do you know the parents? I would give all information to parents or school.

I'd encourage your dd to block/mute her on sm and avoid at school

Encourage other friends and make sure your dd knows it's not her responsibility to support this girl and she is not responsible for her behaviour

Tbh its evident this girl is struggling and there more might be going on. Her behaviour whilst awful is clearly a cry for help.

I'd be very grateful that your DD is no longer friends with Katie but pass on anything you hear about suicide threats or other destructive behaviour to the school. She needs help but she needs it from competent adults not another teen.

I'd pass the information to school for safeguarding purposes.
Emma deserves to be free from Katie's bullying.Whether or not Katie is actually experiencing suicidal thoughts or not, it's concerning behaviour and should be taken at face value in case it's part of a bigger picture.

Your DD has handled this situation really well and you should be incredibly proud of her. It takes a lot of courage at her age, to recognise a situation for what it is, block people on social media and to be resolute in holding firm to her boundaries.

My daughter was in a similar situation at this age and unfortunately was the ‘Emma’ while her friend was in the same position as your daughter, but did not behave quite so well. It was absolutely devastating for her at the time but ultimately led to a change of schools, friendships and life experience that wouldn’t have happened otherwise.

Get your daughter involved in things outside school, where children from all different schools attend and encourage her to broaden her social circle. Fortunately, my younger daughter has learned from her sister’s experience and is making an effort to forge friendships with kids who didn’t attend the same small village primary.

Thank you yes I notified the school. Katie said she requested a class change so I wrote to support that and about the suicide bit as I still have concerns for such a young child to be talking that way. I do know we were an outlet for her as we took her so often, and I reported the bullying. I’m afraid it’s completely unacceptable and too much pressure for our household.

I agree, Katie has been in counciling this year I don’t know for what and almost suspended for chat back to teachers. This happened after Emma slept over. My daughter gave her the kids helpline phone number. I’m suspecting there maybe issues between her parents. Also Katie is very spoilt and will push her way until she gets it but that technique won’t work for us. She does have my number if she’s in a real crisis and her parents seem very decent people.

Exactly and trained professionals

Yes I’m not very happy with this schools socials tbh, but I hope my daughter can make a new pathway. The education is very good but the friendships at the school are a bit iffy. I hope she can focus more on study and I’ll foster our other friendships out of school. Luckily we haven’t been short of a play date as we have many groups of friends.