Daughter assaulted in school

[mumofblu]

My Dd is 16 . Last week she was sent home in a taxi at home time by school which I thought was strange . A follow up call told me she had been assaulted in a school corridor by a boy who she dated from the age of 13/14 . It was always a concern as I saw bruising on her and I didn't like the way he treated her . She had counselling and social services involved when she was seeing him because mentally she was a mess . She's great at school and working hard for her exams . I thought everything was calm .

I don't know the full details but I'm told it's on cctv . It happened Friday and I still haven't had full account from school and she won't talk about it .

I was told he bruised her arm during the assault and he has been put in isolation because the pupil referral ( off school site ) has no space . I don't want her at school with this boy after this . I'm concerned if he decides to leave isolation ( very likely ) he may go for her again .

Surely the school should have excluded him ? Informed the police . I don't think they are doing enough .
It was school who first warned us to watch him .

Any thoughts ?

Have you and her contacted the police?

I have asked this question of school

This is an ex boyfriend who has a history of verbal abuse , physical and controlling behaviour .

Imo school should have contacted police , assault is on cctv

We had an awful time with my Dd when they first got together and our relationship is much better .

She's your daughter, I would think that it's in her best interest to contact the police. It's odd that he hasn't been excluded, from what you have said. Surely you are going to arrange a meeting with relevant staff?

I agree , we have had police and social services involvement previously. She is still protecting him and I have to tread very carefully. I want the school to act by removing him and calling the police

I've asked for a meeting but teacher who was dealing is now off sick
I've asked for another meeting

I was recently told by a school police officer that things in school are dealt with by the school following behaviour policies.
It is on you if you would like to report the assault as a crime and the police would then seek the cctv from the school and investigate accordingly but I would imagine your daughter would need to give a statement.

Schools also need to investigate, get statements from witnesses along with the cctv so they may still be going through the motions of that before deciding a sanction.
I would have thought he should be suspended at the least.

Thankyou for the messages

The teacher who saw the assault and the cctv called yesterday so I now know , he advised against me seeing it and said it was "disgusting behaviour " and my daughter is at no fault .

He is out of school for 2 weeks then a decision being made in January about his future in the school .

The police were not informed and my Dd just wants to move on and forget it

Thankyou again

Gosh that sounds awful OP.

FYI you don't have to leave it up the the school to contact police - you can do it yourself and they will have to cooperate.

Ultimately it's your daughter's decision of course, but personally, given the history and the potential that he could be allowed back to the school in January, I would really suggest that you do. Does he know where you live?

I would also suggest getting your daughter some counselling if you can.

Also, are social services aware that it has happened again?

I would see the CCTV footage and call the police.

He may be excluded from school, but your daughter is now 16 year old and almost finished school.

What if he see her out in public or follows her outside when she finished with school.

Schools don't have adequate powers to deal with this sort of behaviour.

My school would ask the parent to report to the police. I don't think the school would themselves.

I would also agree with the PP above and say watch the CCTV yourself. You need the full picture.

Take a copy if you can, or at least get them to agree in writing that they won't wipe it.

Your daughter is a child. Report this to the police op! I cannot believe your so blasé about this. What the school are doing is NOT sufficient.

I'm struggling to understand why you are being so placid in your approach to dealing with this.

If my daughter was assaulted in school I would be reporting to the police. I would not be accepting that the person dealing with it is away, get someone else then! Where is the safeguarding here? At a minimum he should not be in school.

It seems to me that no-one is putting your daughter's interests first and advocating for her. She's a child, she doesn't understand the consequences of 'protecting him'. She needs to be supported and imo told that this boy will face consequences for what he has done.

Grow a backbone OP and show your DD that male violence is never acceptable and needs to be dealt with.

My approach is not placid , after chasing the school I've had a full account from a teacher who witnessed it and looked at CCTV . They are taking it seriously .
The abusive boy is suspended pending a decision in January
I've spoken to my daughter who is concerned about backlash in school . She us 16 , she has our full support because if we go against her wishes she will not trust us again .
I've asked the school to write a full account of what happened for her file and a copy to be sent to us
To save a copy of the cctv should it be needed and a safeguarding plan put in place to keep her safe in school if he's allowed back in January
Us losing it in front of her will make her feel worse than she already does .