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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Flip

Original poster

Push pull

14 replies

Flyhigher · 05/12/2023 19:53

Does your DD 16 do this.

Asks a question. You can't answer immediately. You begin to figure it out you start to answer then they send you away shouting. Saying stop it.

I get this all the time. Is it SN?

OP posts:

MaloneMeadow · 05/12/2023 23:10

OP you’re making absolutely no sense. What are you talking about?

WanderingWitches · 05/12/2023 23:11

Give a proper example because I don't understand what you mean

idontlikealdi · 05/12/2023 23:14

You need
To explain better

LittleGreenDragons · 05/12/2023 23:21

I thought the title didn't make much sense so came to read the post in the hope everything becoming clearer...nope.

Any examples?

Wolfiefan · 05/12/2023 23:27

Didn’t you post the other day saying your child said you didn’t always have to be right or something? Sounds like a total breakdown of the relationship TBH

Original poster

Flyhigher · 06/12/2023 06:27

I feel like she has a push pull reaction. Pulls me towards her asking a question, then gets impatient and pushes away. It's not going well no. So would like some support. Think I'm better on sticking to the teen hand hold thread. Need to find it again.

OP posts:

Original poster

Flyhigher · 06/12/2023 06:29

She's asks for help with an exam question. I can't answer straight away , I look a little blank I guess. Then I start to figure it out after about 20 seconds. Then I start to explain it and she just sends me away angry.

OP posts:

Original poster

Flyhigher · 06/12/2023 06:30

I have to know absolutely everything in an instant. Or I'm useless.

OP posts:

Original poster

Flyhigher · 06/12/2023 06:31

Or about cutting hair. Or cooking something. Or a top she likes. Has to be an instant response.

OP posts:

LikeAKipper · 06/12/2023 06:35

Sounds more like she hasn't learnt to deal with frustration and needs to learn you're human, not an all-knowing source of everything- but that's part of the transition to adulthood, realising that parents aren't superhuman and they (the children) need to stand on their own to figure some things out. It can initially cause a defensive/ upset reaction whilst realisation dawns.

gaz4stace · 06/12/2023 06:53

OP my DD 17 is like this, seems like she is opening up for a conversation then will shut it down quickly afterwards, often at the point I am giving a thoughtful answer and it is quite upsetting. As the other poster said I think its part of growing up so I'm trying not to take it to heart but its hard and I do call her out on it when it's done particularly obnoxiously!

aramox1 · 06/12/2023 07:03

Yes! 'I just want a simple answer not a long explanation'. I find it works better if I say 'I need time to think about it, can you wait 5 minutes' or whatever. Leave the ball in their court.

Original poster

Flyhigher · 06/12/2023 07:30

I'll try. But she won't wait.

OP posts:

LittleGreenDragons · 06/12/2023 11:07

Then tell her not to be so rude. If she cannot wait for an answer then she needs to learn not to ask it.

She needs to know her rudeness is not acceptable, and will certainly not be tolerated at work or outside the family unit. Do you sanction/discipline her or even just tell her off for it?

Flip