Psycho- social effect of delayed puberty

[Speakandspell]

My DS is 15 & 10 months & has delayed puberty. He’s under the care of an endocrinologist but he’s not had treatment yet as puberty is happening, it’s just 2 years delayed and they don’t like to give testosterone unless it’s really nescessary as there are side effects and it can cap height. I would say he’s in early Tanner stage 3 - voice squeaking etc. His bone scan showed he was 2 years delayed.

Anyway, hes miles behind his mates socially. He just wants to be at home all the time- occasionally games online with his mates but never wants to go out etc. All his school friends are planning to go to reading festival next year after gcses but he doesn’t want to go. We have taken him to Glastonbury as a kid a few times so he’s grown up around festivals anyway but I am worried he is missing out on loads if right of passage stuff. He’s just happy at home.

Anyone experienced similar & can reassure me! His younger 12 year old sister has a better social life than him!

I wouldn’t worry too much. It’s fairly normal for teen boys to be more shut-in at that age. Encourage him to try new things and to get out a bit when you can. DS is also 15 and is having delayed puberty

My 17 year old has no interest in festivals, games online, not keen on going out. He has friends the same, all doing maths/computers/physics or similar. I think it's just personality.

DS16 has followed a pretty normal path puberty-wise but has no interest in going out or festivals. I wish he did have more of a social life but it’s just who he is. DD18 is a bit more sociable but certainly no interest in clubbing or festivals, she’d rather go to a quiz night or see a show. It’s never once occurred to me that it was a development issue for either of them.

My son is 15 has no social life at all . He had negative friends who abused him and since then he is very anxious angry and did not attend school for most of year 10 he is now in year 11 but has no motivation at all re school work . It worry’s me a lot

My son was very delayed growth wise too. He's nearly 18 now and still very slight. It has really had a bad effect on his confidence . He still stays home with me, rarely sees his friends and dropped out of college because ( I think ) of anxiety at being around people. I don't know how to help him except love him as much as I can and I try not to stress that he's not moving forward like his friends are . I don't want to cause him anxiety in his home life too. Me and my husband know he's a really lovely caring boy which is more important and this stage won't last forever. I'm sorry I don't really have advice except to try and not stress. I feel your pain OP

Is he "miles behind his mates socially", or are they just growing in different directions? Both wanting to be out & about/go to festivals and preferring to stay home and game sound like standard types of teenager to me? I would view it as a separate issue to the delayed puberty.

You may find a few threads on here about delayed puberty and a lot of the posters say the same thing - that it happens eventually. It’s good news that your DS is being monitored in case there’s a need for medical intervention but by the sounds of it he’ll be fine. My DS was a late bloomer and then had a massive growth spurt - I’ll be honest his confidence was quite low but improved not only as he grew but also as her matured and realised that everyone is different.
With regards to being a bit behind socially - your DS may be a home bird and prefers to being on his console rather than out and about. You never know, he may change when he goes to sixth form and makes new friends or he may just not fancy going out and about with that particular ground of friends.