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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Teenage age boy (16) with small penis

28 replies

Embarrassingquestio · 18/11/2023 15:35

context - my son is 16, neuro diverse and suffers with anxiety

Hi everyone, I’m worried about my son (16). We were shopping in Primark yesterday and walked passed some mannequins wearing boxer shorts- my son asked why there was a ‘bulge’ and I answered ‘to make it look realistic’. He laughed and said, ‘if it were me, there would be no bulge, my penis is so small’. I said ‘I’m sure it’s perfectly normal’, he went quiet and mumbled something like ‘not normal for me’.

I then changed the subject, but thinking back, remembering when he was a baby I did notice this part of him was small (at least compared to his older brother).

He’s very self conscious and becoming interested in girls. He’s really lacking in confidence anyway, but I don’t know how to help him?

I’m sure this doesn’t warrant a visit to the GP, or should I get him checked out (he would obviously be very embarrassed). Does anyone have any advice? Should I be addressing this? If so, how?

OP posts:
Micefeelpain · 18/11/2023 15:37

Just make a doctor's appointment for him. What are you expecting from Mumsnet? Seriously??

vodkaredbullgirl · 18/11/2023 15:38

What pp said

Ollifer · 18/11/2023 15:40

The fact he's said something to you means it's bothering him. So yes to the GP

Original poster
Embarrassingquestio · 18/11/2023 15:41

Ollifer · 18/11/2023 15:40

The fact he's said something to you means it's bothering him. So yes to the GP

Ok thank you - will do

OP posts:
Original poster
Embarrassingquestio · 18/11/2023 15:42

Micefeelpain · 18/11/2023 15:37

Just make a doctor's appointment for him. What are you expecting from Mumsnet? Seriously??

I was expecting some advice as there’s probably many other parents of teenage boys who may have experienced the same?

why even bother replying? Seriously??

OP posts:
steff13 · 18/11/2023 15:49

The statistics on average size per country are available if you Google them. Assuming he has access to a tape measure I think he should be able to figure out if it's very small on his own.

Out of curiosity for those suggesting that he go to the doctor what can the doctor do about it?

Micefeelpain · 18/11/2023 15:50

This reply has been deleted

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Micefeelpain · 18/11/2023 15:52

Out of curiosity for those suggesting that he go to the doctor what can the doctor do about it?

Fuck all, probably. But at least it's someone at least halfway qualified to deal with the problem.

Janeandme · 18/11/2023 15:55

Are you the mum or dad? If the mum does he have a dad? I think he needs a male to talk to him about this.

JuJuHeyHey · 18/11/2023 15:58

Might be time to have a conversation with him about porn. If he's been watching it then he might be comparing himself and thinking that massive penises are the norm. Wouldn't do any harm to dispel other myths about porn while you're at it, so that he doesn't have unrealistic expectations or attitudes towards his future sexual partners.

Hiddenvoice · 18/11/2023 15:58

As a pp suggested, if dads involved would your son feel more comfortable talking to him about it?

I think the fact he’s brought it up means it’s bothering him. Don’t have any expert advice but you could always make a gp appt and see if your son will go and discuss it but I’m not sure what a gp will say.

SarahShorty · 18/11/2023 16:00

Small penises and general lack of growth is almost entirely to do with hormones, so his endocrine system could probably do with checking over. Was he a late bloomer? The doctor can get his blood checked to ensure he's producing enough of the right stuff, including testosterone. The teenage years are always a weird and worrying time for both girls and boys, so although it will be embarrassing for him, a bit of reassurance will do a lot of good for his confidence and self-esteem.

Luckydog7 · 18/11/2023 16:02

There is the possibility that watching porn skews the perspective of men who as of average size to think they are small. Worth considering.

I have read on here some men are very self conscious about their perfectly normal tackle for this reason despite a good sex life and reassuring partner.

LadeOde · 18/11/2023 16:04

This reply has been deleted

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Why do you have to be so nasty?

People post on here every single day about medical things they should see the GP about yet they come here. Why? for reassurance, for the chance someone else may have had similar symptoms and if so what did they do about it/tips on what to say when they speak to the doctor etc. If a thread topic annoys you so much just don't post..but I guess that wouldn't give you any satisfaction.

MrsTerryPratchett · 18/11/2023 16:15

JuJuHeyHey · 18/11/2023 15:58

Might be time to have a conversation with him about porn. If he's been watching it then he might be comparing himself and thinking that massive penises are the norm. Wouldn't do any harm to dispel other myths about porn while you're at it, so that he doesn't have unrealistic expectations or attitudes towards his future sexual partners.

This. ND and fixed thinking. And possibly have a google of sex and relationship counsellors in your area. And a check-up, just in case.

mcmooberry · 18/11/2023 16:19

When my DS was a baby he seemed to have a tiny penis to the extent that his older cousin commented on it. We actually were worried enough to take him to the doctors (thinking that if there was an endocrine reason maybe it could be treated) but they said within normal limits. I only cared because I know how insecure a small penis can make men and thought maybe there could be a medical reason.
He is now 15 and while I have no idea if all is well I assume it is (based on what he has said himself).
So my thoughts are the fact it seemed small as a baby doesn't mean it hasn't developed normally. It's such an embarrassing thing to bring up, could you ask him if he would like to see a GP (without you in the room) if he thinks it's abnormally small, just to - hopefully - put his mind at rest? I also think boys that age probably use it as an insult and he may have taken it literally?? Sorry not to be more/any help.

Original poster
Embarrassingquestio · 18/11/2023 16:22

mcmooberry · 18/11/2023 16:19

When my DS was a baby he seemed to have a tiny penis to the extent that his older cousin commented on it. We actually were worried enough to take him to the doctors (thinking that if there was an endocrine reason maybe it could be treated) but they said within normal limits. I only cared because I know how insecure a small penis can make men and thought maybe there could be a medical reason.
He is now 15 and while I have no idea if all is well I assume it is (based on what he has said himself).
So my thoughts are the fact it seemed small as a baby doesn't mean it hasn't developed normally. It's such an embarrassing thing to bring up, could you ask him if he would like to see a GP (without you in the room) if he thinks it's abnormally small, just to - hopefully - put his mind at rest? I also think boys that age probably use it as an insult and he may have taken it literally?? Sorry not to be more/any help.

Thank you that’s very reassuring.

OP posts:
greenbeansnspinach · 18/11/2023 16:23

This reply has been deleted

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That’s really rude. I don’t come on mumsnet to read such crass comments and the OP certainly didn’t.

luxuryinteriors · 18/11/2023 17:00
Hmm
TeltleySortsEverything · 19/11/2023 09:38

I’m going through a similar problem with DS1, he has ASD and has become insecure about his body and I’m not sure what to be honest. Any advice is appreciated

LlynTegid · 19/11/2023 14:32

Unfortunately there may be the influence of porn, or just a young man who is a 'grower not a shower' when it comes to penis size.

Yes to the GP.

Easterdaffsx · 22/11/2023 09:37

Try amd keep it simple .
Have a gentle conversation that perhaps starts with telling him you noticed what he said but understand at his age he may be mortified at the thought of showing you .... so how about we head out to see a male GP who does this all the time amd let him check you over? You could maybe give the gp the heads up before he attends and wait outside . I'd look at this as a perfect opportunity to introduce him to his GP and provide him with a way to be able to contact / attend in confidence should he want to in the future without having to ask you x
Hope this helps x

ShaunaM · 22/11/2023 20:21

How is the rest of him compare to boys his age? Does he have facial / body hair growth, height wise is he normal compare to others?

Remmy123 · 23/11/2023 21:36

Has he started puberty? My son is almost 15 v small down below but has only just started puberty so I expect this to change!

RobinRounds · 23/11/2023 22:12

I echo what @SarahShorty said. It’s worth getting an appointment with your GP who will arrange for blood tests and then possibly a check-up with a consultant.

One of my sons had the same worries as a teen and after going through a blood test and checking family history, the consultant told us that my DS was simply a late bloomer (as I was and my DH when we were teens) so my son’s genetics did play a part in it. My DS was self conscious for a long time about his lack of body hair, small stature, higher pitched voice etc until his hormones kicked in, admittedly later than quite a few of his mates, but now he is much taller than his mates who bloomed earlier and everything has settled down. But it did cause him a few worries at the time so a chat with your doctor may help your son feel a bit more comfortable in his own skin. He may also have to learn a bit of patience too (my son was very impatient and expected miracles over night).

Funnily enough, it was a thread here on Mumsnet that made me feel more at ease with regards to my son’s development (it is worrying isn’t it!) so please be assured that your son is most probably delayed a bit and he will catch up soon.