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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Is this just a phase

2 replies

Yobans · 15/11/2023 16:46

Not sure which thread to put this on so sorry if in the wrong place. Also not sure what I’m trying to say really!

Just wondering if your pre-teens / young teens have encountered this. It seems like a lot of my DD’s friends are lesbians. A high number of them went to the same small primary school so it seems statistically unlikely that they all are lesbian. I’m not judging and I think it’s fine if they are but it’s got me wondering if they’re mixing up best friendships with sexual attraction (I can’t think of a better way to describe it). It seems the group from the village school have all been each others girlfriend at some point. Is it just normal development now there is no stigma attached to being gay. Just part of growing up?

OP posts:
MaloneMeadow · 15/11/2023 17:05

Yes, it definitely seems to be some sort of trend! At around 15 DD’s entire close friendship group except for her and a few other girls began to decide that they were all lesbians, would kiss each other at parties etc. DD began to feel uncomfortable as they would accuse her of being homophobic for not joining in! A minority of the girls were genuinely homosexual, and that is fine but it became clear that the others were just following along. They would describe themselves as 90% straight 10% lesbian which i (and DD) found frankly bizarre. I spoke to a child psychologist friend about it who said that there is certainly a herd mentality to things at play.

They are all now 19/20 and seemed to grow out of it in Sixth Form when relationships with boys began to become more of a serious thing. They’re all still great friends though, lots of visits to each others unis etc!

Original poster
Yobans · 15/11/2023 19:53

MaloneMeadow · 15/11/2023 17:05

Yes, it definitely seems to be some sort of trend! At around 15 DD’s entire close friendship group except for her and a few other girls began to decide that they were all lesbians, would kiss each other at parties etc. DD began to feel uncomfortable as they would accuse her of being homophobic for not joining in! A minority of the girls were genuinely homosexual, and that is fine but it became clear that the others were just following along. They would describe themselves as 90% straight 10% lesbian which i (and DD) found frankly bizarre. I spoke to a child psychologist friend about it who said that there is certainly a herd mentality to things at play.

They are all now 19/20 and seemed to grow out of it in Sixth Form when relationships with boys began to become more of a serious thing. They’re all still great friends though, lots of visits to each others unis etc!

Thank you, that’s interesting. Glad it all turned out well in the end for DD. It’s so good to have close girl friends.

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