Inappropriate texting

[Sproodle]

My daughter is 15 and volunteers at a youth club for kids with special needs. There's a guy who works there, probably in his late 40s, I think he more or less runs the club.
Anyway, I've exchanged several emails / and one or two texts with him along the lines of arranging times my daughter can help out and so on... he always seems very keen to have her help.
Anyway, she didn't go last week due to school work and she told me he sent her an email saying 'we alright?' At the same time, I got a text message saying 'you alright, missed a call from you?'
I realised he probably thought he was texting my daughter and ignored the message... perhaps he stored my number under her name. I certainly hadn't called him so it seemed like a ruse to get her attention.
Anyway, I've been thinking about this and wondering how to broach it... and have just received another text this evening ... 'how are your exams going?'
This is really weird and inappropriate right? I mentioned it to my daughter who just thinks it's typical of his scatty nature and it's fine. I'm not sure what to think - or do. I haven't replied.

Yes, I’d say it’s inappropriate. Does the club have a safeguarding lead? Don’t t say it’s him!

Yes, just noticed there is a safeguarding lead on the website… not him!
My daughter absolutely loves this club and I’m worried about overreacting. She’s never alone with him, it’s a busy club. Not sure what to think.

Most youth organisations have strict rules around adults communicating with minors one on one so I would perhaps drop the safeguarding lead a line to ask their policy on this.

You’re not overreacting. And it’s kind of irrelevant what your daughter thinks about his motives. This man is in a position of power with many vulnerable children in his care. He has overstepped a very important boundary. I wonder how many other children he is contacting like this? It needs to be flagged immediately.

Yes, I think you're right @Rollergirl11 I do feel v uncomfortable about it and he's clearly overstepped a boundary.
I would give the same advice if it was someone else, but it's difficult to see a situation clearly when you're in it. This man is clearly very well loved at the club and seems passionate about helping disadvantaged kids. Makes it complicated.

It’s not complicated at all @Sproodle. There is absolutely no reason for this man to be contacting your DD outside of the youth club. And just observe what has happened here for a moment. You, an adult, are already questioning your instincts regarding this unwarranted and uncalled for contact. Because after all he’s passionate about the club, he’s well loved and surely he’s just being friendly, right? If this is how you’re feeling after a couple of texts imagine how a child might feel unable and ill equipped to shut this behaviour down, despite something not feeling quite right?

He knows he shouldn’t be doing this. Flag it to the appropriate person. Better to be safe then sorry.

OP there is nothing complicated about raising a safeguarding issue, he's overstepped the boundaries texting your 15 year old daughter, he also has access to disadvantaged vulnerable children he might be well loved but that doesn't mean he's not a risk to children better to be safe than sorry

It's not appropriate, you aren't overreacting and it should be straight forward to raise safeguarding issue. It's not on to text her like this he is trying to groom her.

I don't comment often but this is not appropriate at all to personally text a 15 year old and he was trying to start a dialogue with her asking about exams.

Pedos hide in plain site and love to look the hero to everyone, such as being a part of this club. Report him and also afterwards tell him all contact goes through you so he knows you know. I'm glad your daughter told you.

NEVER not trust your motherly senses.

Huge red flags. Contact safeguarding.

Jimmy Saville loved to play the hero and hide behind it. God I hate creepy men, wtf would a 15 year old want to message him.

Inappropriate, but speaking as somebody who runs a xlub with young helpers, you should have let him know if your dd was not going to show up.I think asking about illness/exams is his way of asking if she is going to be there next time.

Hoq does he come to even have her number? It is only okay to message her direct if you are copied in (which on the first occasion ut sounds like you were)

She let him know verbally that her mocks were coming up and she wouldn't be attending - and he'd forgotten seemingly.

He sent her an email... it was the weird tone, 'we ok?' that I found odd. She replied to that and reminded him about the exams, and he confirmed he'd forgotten. So the follow up question asking how her exams were going a few days later was just conversation.

He doesn't have her mobile number, just mine. So I can only assume he's forgotten it's my number and thinks he's chatting with her. He must have saved my no under her name. All very odd. Also, he pretended he had a missed call to initiate the conversation.

He is scatty but it's kind of weird.

Oh I never read that properly at first, I'd have tested him there and then probably to see what he was upto!

OP we are all saying its not appropriate barr that one other user, because it's not. I hope you get all this sorted x

Did you report it, OP?

I'd play along and see what he says. If you report him, he might wriggle out of it, ready for the next target.

Yep. Be concerned. He is trying to initiate a relationship it’s your daughter outside of her volunteering. Red flag.