I’m worried my teenager had ODD

[MimiKay]

Hello everyone, I’m hoping someone out here can offer me some advice. My 13 yr old
daughter has always been a little defiant but it has gotten so much worse this past year. I’m truly starting to believe she has ODD. Has anyone dealt with a teenager with ODD? If so, what are some things that have helped? Is there a light at the end of this dark tunnel because I feel so defeated as a
mother. No matter how good I am to her or how much I do, it’s always met with resistance, rudeness and disrespect. Shes become such a bully to her sister as well as to her dad and I. I never imagined she would be this kind of kid. I know ppl may suggest therapy and I am
strongly considering that. I enrolled in a teenage life coach that also is a life coach for parents so they will help us all in some ways. Has anyone ever tried life coaching for teenagers??

It can be really hard parenting teenagers!

It might be helpful if you explained what specifically is happening to make you consider ODD rather than regular teenage behaviour?

If you do think it is ODD the place to start is with the GP. ODD is not something you can self-diagnose.

How are they at school and at any clubs?

Obviously bullying their sibling has to be stopped, even if it means increasing supervision for a time.

I’m a psychiatric nurse and have met many children with oppositional defiance disorder. The most important thing is getting a CAHMS referral for your child. Second to that, a good way to handle defiant behaviour is to make requests rather than demands. For example, if her room is a mess and you need her to clean it, you say “hey DD, will you help me clean your room? I’ll pick up your books, do you want to put your rubbish in the bin or pick up your clothes first?” And give options rather than yes or no requests. Instead of “will you put your laundry in the hamper while I do the dishes?” You say “would you rather put your laundry in the hamper or do the dishes?”. It’s all about communication and letting that child think she’s the one making the decisions.

@Ourlittletalks

Do most teens grow out of it/work through it or does it affect people for life?

While many teens do “grow out of it”, it’s moreso through extensive psychological help and learning to keep their defiance at bay. Many will go on to live productive adult lives. However, many others do not outgrow their symptoms and can continue to struggle with their behavioural mannerisms throughout adulthood. Unfortunately, only children and teens can be diagnosed with ODD, once those behaviours follow them into adulthood there is a high risk for them developing antisocial personality disorder.