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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

How do I cope with my sons choice to live with his mum

1 reply

rob38 · 01/11/2023 22:12

My 13 year old son has got a detention at school every day for the last 60 school days, and has been suspended 5 times. In the last two school weeks he has so far not attended school on 5 days.

My son lives with his mum and usually stays with me one - two days per week. He has a long history of acting out in his mothers care and not going to school while at his mothers. His mother has a history of abusive and neglectful behavior.

For a few weeks before the summer holidays my son lived with me during the week and there was a really positive improvement in his behavior. This positive improvement has happened before when he has come to live with me. But recently my son has decided that he doesn't want to live with me and wants to spend less time with me because I sometimes tell him off if he does something wrong, and will implement a screen ban after warnings if he does something really bad, which his mum doesn't.

I know from past experience that my son does a lot better if he lives with me and I am heart broken at his behavior atm and his choice to live with his mum. I understand why he is making that choice, but it is not a good choice and I don't know what to do. I cant stop being a parent and telling him off, so I see him just continuing to make a choice to live with his mum which is very sad.

OP posts:
Moderateorgoodoccasionallyverypoor · 02/11/2023 07:04

That sounds so difficult. All you can do is continue to be there for him I suppose and hope, once the teenage hormones settle, he comes around. I really have no advice, just wanted to bump your thread so someone else may come along with some wise words.

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