Autistic teen - really struggling

[Redcliffe1]

My teen had a diagnosis a couple of years ago and refused to accept it but I can see behaviours that seem Iine with it although some might be just teen hormones. Most of the time everything is fine but then suddenly out of the blue he has these melt downs.

Today I asked him to help my put his clothes as well as his younger brothers. He was genuinely devastated by this request and it ended in tears and an hour conversation about how I don't understand him, nothing ever changes and he wants me to reflect on my parenting. This was clearly not about the clothes- he ended helping me - but I think starting 6th form has been full on for him and it just all came out. He's normally very sweet and helps his little brother all the time so I'm always at a loss what to do as its always just a ramdon thing that triggers it.

On the hormones my (non autistic) ds sometimes gets so her up, so upset, shouting and crying. It only lasts for minutes and I can see in his eyes, he doesn’t have any form of a clue why he’s so angry and sad. I’m not much help, am never much help on these threads, my advice is always just to sit and listen and chat, or just even sit there while they’re playing a game or watching YouTube or something, and just have a nice evening or time. Or call a games night. Just remember to reconnect. (Hopefully someone comes along that can help better) Hugs op

My dd is 16, asd and has just started y12 (at college). She’s loving her courses and has actually made some friends but is struggling and has self harmed. The last time she did that was a few weeks into starting y7.

Im guessing it’s the huge change they’ve gone through plus all the extra socialising, getting up early, new routines etc. I’m hoping it will right itself in time.