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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Son suspended from school

7 replies

sharah · 08/03/2008 23:17

My son has been bullied on and off since he first started primary school. He was always "quirky" and never really fit in, the teachers were no help, because DS went out of his way to be different they seemed to think he brought it on himself.
I sent him to karate from the age of 8 to build up his confidence and it did the job, although he never made friends in school he had friends in karate, he got fit and he learnt how to defend himself but still he'd never hit back if he was picked on.

Anyway things have been a little better at secondary school but we've still had the odd incident occur from a certain group of kids that just dislike him. Again the teachers are not much use as they say DS goes out of his way to be different and he has to understand that this will draw unwanted attention

Anyway yesterday I recieved a phonecall saying DS had been in a fight and I needed to collect him. When I got there it turned out he'd beaten up two kids, one of them was bad enough to need a trip to A&E (but he's fine now apparantly).

The teachers said DS was out of control, vicious and violent and used karate on the two kids which is why one of them ended up with bad injuries.

He has now been suspended from school.

I'm so pissed off because he has suffered bullying for years and nothing was done yet as soon as he retaliates he gets kicked out and all the blame is on him.

How do I handle this? I secretely want to say well done but how can I do that as a responsible parent? What was he supposed to do if the normal channels of reporting bullying wouldn't work?

OP posts:
milou2 · 08/03/2008 23:29

I bet they wound him up so much he lashed out.

How has he been since the fight? Has he been able to chat it through with you? Does he feel well?

2shoes · 08/03/2008 23:55

so sorry to hear this. did he know that you can't use karate except in defence?

excludedteen · 09/03/2008 00:07

You have my sympathy (see here )
I have since been advised that schools are not allowed to exclude children for actions they take to retaliate against bullying. However, our school wouldn't admit that DS had been bullied so came to nothing.....

dippydeedoo · 09/03/2008 00:27

did he truly use karate? or was he just fighting for his self esteem my son mentioned on the link above had similar the child he fought ended up with his nose in a splint there is really only so much sh*t a pent up hormone ridden id cn take ......U must back him 100% regardless of what they claim ....even if at home u seriously say not to do it again ....

mumblechum · 10/03/2008 14:10

My ds (who also does karate) got a 2 day internal exclusion last summer for punching a lad once, but breaking his sternum . The other lad got the same punishment, though, as he'd provoked ds with racist insults.

This sort of thing unfortunately happens in the best of schools. IMO, your ds did the right thing to fight back if he was defending himself, but obviously your and my dss need to be careful because they have had karate training so one punch can do a lot of damage.

Are the other lads getting similar punishment?

Loshad · 11/03/2008 11:27

But surely you have to be cross with him as well, you say one of the kids ended up in a+E - you'd be furious if that was your lad and demanding the school took action. I always thought all martial arts were heavily taught on the don't attack people with your skills line.

milou2 · 12/03/2008 15:51

Been thinking about this situation. How are things now?

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