18 year old not acknowledging gifts from relatives

[BrunchFace]

How much is it to be expected that late teens don’t acknowledge gifts?

I know they haven’t asked for relatives to send gifts and will be aware that the relatives do it because they’ve always done it.

Are you the parent or the gift giver?

Gift giver. I’m wondering how old they have to get before I get offended. When they were younger and didn’t acknowledge I thought ah well, they’re children.

If they've never acknowledged before they aren't going to start any time soon. We were always expected to thank relatives for gifts, either by note, or call/text as we got older and so it wouldn't occur to me not to now as it's what I know.

If they don't say thank you I'd stop sending gifts - they should always say thank you.

When my nephews stopped saying thank you, I stopped giving presents. I didn't expect a proper thank you letter (which my sister had helped them with when they were little); a quick text would have been enough.

Do you mean to say they have never once acknowledged your gift?

@Barrowgirl A handful of times over the years but generally not

If they were not made to acknowledge by their parents, why are you expecting them to have a Damascene conversion now?

I would accept they weren't taught to send letters and I would still buy a gift.

If they haven't previously thanked you I do not think they are going to suddenly start thanking you now they are 18!

No thank you, no more gifts. It’s rude and at 18 they’re definitely old enough to at least send a message saying thank you

I’d be a lot less forgiving about kids - their parents should make sure they thank.

Teenagers can be rubbish. If it’s going to bother you, stop giving. if their parents didn’t teach them to thank it’s unlikely to ever happen now.

My nephew never acknowledged anything as a kid. Now in his 20s we get thankyous and birthday cards from him- even occasional presents. He is honestly the most well mannered person in my family!
The rest of us just send messages and heckle each other on the family WhatsApp group. 😂

I think 18 is an appropriate age to stop giving gifts. As a parent I always made sure my DS wrote thank you letters .. yes, it was tedious sometimes standing over him but it was a good lesson to learn.

I had to nag my children to send thank you letters. They are shy not ungrateful but honestly would rather not have had the present than do the thank you. They do it and over the years it’s become easier for them. At 18 it’s late to learn so I’d just stop sending presents.

Are you grandparent? Distant cousin?

If you are a more distant relative , just stop giving them. If you are a closer relative, surely you can just ask if they received it? Teach them how you want to be treated as their parents didn’t teach them.

It boggles my mind that they don't thank you for gifts! How incredibly rude. I certainly wouldn't be buying them any more.

That’s good to hear @Snickerrs
That’s what makes me a bit hesitant about stopping as I know people can change a lot in their twenties.

Hi ,did you have a good birthday, hope you got the present?

Then see what they respond. Then make a decision whether to carry on based on what their reply is

At 18, they should know better. Time to stop sending gifts.

Out of interest op. What are you giving to an 18 year old?

And do you ever see or speak to them?

Why? That doesn't make sense ! What does it teach a teen? It's ok not to say thankyou, for anything??

This!
My 2 stopped writing thank you notes at about 10-11 years old but they absolutely must call or text the person to say thank you.
That being said, my kids are the only ones in my family that do this!