15 yr old hates school

Clogdle · 2023-10-11T08:16:53+00:00

My daughter is in year 11 and hates school. I can’t seem to get her interested in anything other than TV. Spoken to school, doctors and she has been diagnosed with anxiety but she isn’t being bullied yet she is isolated and only has one friend at school. I am looking at clubs for her to get her confidence up and trying anything I can. she constantly feels sick or has tummy ache or diarrhoea and I am so tired of the daily slog trying to get her to school. she gets really emotional with me shouting and screaming like a toddler wanting her own way and just wants to be in her bedroom at home. whilst most of the kids are walking to and from school she still needs me to drive her both ways. Any advice would be gratefully received.

waterrat · 11/10/2023 16:27

Is she possibly neurodiverse? The emotional meltdowns...school overwhelm....struggling socially.

Join the facebook group not fine in school ...many teens are in this situation

Do you think she would be motivated enough to do home learning if she left school

Okwotnext · 11/10/2023 16:34

Year 11 was very tough for my daughter socially. She hated going and so I helped her take it a day at a time. I made a tick list of how many days she actually had to do (it won’t be all that many with insets and study leave and hols). And she ticked it off day by day. This helped her see an end. I appreciate your daughter may be more severely anxious than mine and there may be underlying causes but this helped so much. Btw she left school and went to a 6th form college and is now a different person. I hope it works out for her x

Parky04 · 11/10/2023 16:48

So did I, and so did millions of other children. Didn't like a few of my jobs either, like millions of other people!

DarkChocHolic · 11/10/2023 17:12

Sorry to hear OP!
Y11 is a stressful time.
How is she doing academically? Is the thought of exams stressing her even more?
Does she have friends in school?
My daughter hated y11 as all teachers kept talking to them about was GCSEs.
Can you talk to school to see if she is happy when she is there?

Hellocatshome · 11/10/2023 17:15

Does she have a plan for post GCSEs. My DS had a very hard time in year 11 but he had a plan for post GCSEs so he could just think of year 11 as a hoop to jump through to get where he wanted to be and that seemed to help a lot.

Original poster

Clogdle · 11/10/2023 19:49

We are on the waiting list for Cahms but I think she will have left school by the time we get seen.
I think she is just really struggling with growing up.

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Original poster

Clogdle · 11/10/2023 19:51

Okwotnext · 11/10/2023 16:34

Year 11 was very tough for my daughter socially. She hated going and so I helped her take it a day at a time. I made a tick list of how many days she actually had to do (it won’t be all that many with insets and study leave and hols). And she ticked it off day by day. This helped her see an end. I appreciate your daughter may be more severely anxious than mine and there may be underlying causes but this helped so much. Btw she left school and went to a 6th form college and is now a different person. I hope it works out for her x

Thank you for this. She has been to some college open days and we have a plan for next year which she is excited about.
We have a back up plan too. I like your idea about the tick list too.

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Original poster

Clogdle · 11/10/2023 19:51

Parky04 · 11/10/2023 16:48

So did I, and so did millions of other children. Didn't like a few of my jobs either, like millions of other people!

I hear you. I just needed a bit of reassurance today that’s all.

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Original poster

Clogdle · 11/10/2023 19:55

DarkChocHolic · 11/10/2023 17:12

Sorry to hear OP!
Y11 is a stressful time.
How is she doing academically? Is the thought of exams stressing her even more?
Does she have friends in school?
My daughter hated y11 as all teachers kept talking to them about was GCSEs.
Can you talk to school to see if she is happy when she is there?

She is doing ok. Predicted to pass everything but some subjects less than others. She struggles with Maths but has a different teacher this year and seems to be getting better.
She is very anxious about exams.
She has one friend if you can call her that. She is more of an acquaintance that they hang out at school. Sadly no friends outside of school.
School have said she is fine and she pops in for a chat with Pastoral if feeling a little anxious so does seek out reassurance and help in her own way x

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Original poster

Clogdle · 11/10/2023 19:57

Hellocatshome · 11/10/2023 17:15

Does she have a plan for post GCSEs. My DS had a very hard time in year 11 but he had a plan for post GCSEs so he could just think of year 11 as a hoop to jump through to get where he wanted to be and that seemed to help a lot.

Thank you yes we are trying to focus on going to college next year and being treated as an adult.
I am hopeful that this will help in the same way it did your DS.

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W0tnow · 12/10/2023 14:37

Parky04 · 11/10/2023 16:48

So did I, and so did millions of other children. Didn't like a few of my jobs either, like millions of other people!

That’s what I said to my son. There is no law that says you have to love school. Most people don’t. You’re lucky if you do. For most of us it was just something that you had to get through. A means to an end. You just have to suck it up.

I don’t want to be unsympathetic. She sounds exactly like my son. I am supportive., but can’t magic up more friends for him. I can’t make him love study. It is what it is. I tell him he needs to focus on study, get into the university he wants, and then find his people. Chances are he’ll have a blast.

My mum used to say her high school days were the best of her life. I say, you don’t wanna peak early!