17yo dd wants to go on holiday

[Girliefriendlikespuppies]

With her 17yo bf and his family.

I'm feeling really unsure, her bf is lovely and they've been together 7 months or so but I've not met his family.

Would other parents be okay with this?

They want to go to France.

Meet the family and then decide. They would be in loco parentis so you’d naturally want to check them out.

As long as you meet the family and have no reservations about the boyfriend, I'd be wishing her a good time on her trip! I went away with boyfriends and friends far younger than 17.

A lot of 17 yo girls are going on holiday with big groups of pals, no adult supervision, getting pissed every night and up to god knows what with random men (worst case could even be taken advantage of).

Going on holiday with a steady boyfriend and a group of adults here there will be a degree of supervision sounds a million times better IMO.

I agree you should meet the other parents first tho

I'm not sure about the loco parentis part. It may be different in Scotland but here you can travel abroad without parental supervision from 16?

All my children went on holiday with their friends aged 17 …probably partied a lot of the time and they all came home in one piece. Just let her go !

Travelling alone is different from travelling with adults who are not your parents. OP (and anyone else with parental responsibility) will likely need to do permission letter for bf parents to take their 17yo DD abroad:
https://www.gov.uk/permission-take-child-abroad

Age of adulthood/majority is 18 in all EU member states. The young person needs to meet the age of adulthood for both leaving the U.K. and entering the destination country.

https://www.wonder.legal/uk/modele/travel-consent-form-uk

She's 17! She could move out if she wanted. She's not even just going with her boyfriend she's going with his parents! FFS I spent a month in Berlin at that age and a week in faliraki at just 18. No parents in sight. I don't think you can stop her and I don't understand why you'd want to

At 17 I was going on holiday with groups of friends and downing shots on the strip. I'd say she'll be alot safer going away with her BF

I went and got totally drunk at 17!with my boyf my best friend and her boyfriend. We were shortly 18 I wouldn't worry.

At 17 I was going on group trips with my girlfriends and camping and drinking and hooking up with boys our age, I really think boyfriend and parents is nothing to worry about. I would try to meet them though, maybe pick her up from theirs next time or something so you can meet them in a casual natural way rather than anything serious and weird.

*Travelling alone is different from travelling with adults who are not your parents. OP (and anyone else with parental responsibility) will likely need to do permission letter for bf parents to take their 17yo DD abroad:
www.gov.uk/permission-take-child-abroad

Age of adulthood/majority is 18 in all EU member states. The young person needs to meet the age of adulthood for both*

That's interesting, apologies if im wrong then. I went to Spain with a group of friends at 17 ( our group was a mix of 17/18 year olds, no parents present so we were the 'adults' as far as the law was concerned) but that was obviously a long time ago!!

Where I live it's common for large groups of pals to go away together after final year of high school. Some are 18 but some are 17. They don't seem to have an issue getting into many EU countries without a parent?

I went on my first girls holiday at 17! She will be fine

Of course. My 17 yo went on holiday with his friends to Benidorm 😂

The laws date from the 1980s. It all hinges on whether border control decide to stop you. Recently, they are hyped up on human trafficking and so it’s quite possible that they’d stop them and ask whether parents have consented for bf parents to take an unrelated 17yr old girl abroad- the U.K. is both a source and destination for sex trafficking.

My DD was stopped for this very reason going to the USA with her bf less than a year ago because she looked under 18. She was 20. Her bf looks older- he was 19.

It’s better to prepare the consent letter just in case you are stopped, just like lone parents travelling with kids should have documents as well. You take a risk not doing it.

Op she's 17! You have no choice in this. Just say it would be lovely to meet his parents as they are obviously getting serious... and let her know that you are contactable 24/7. You don't give "permission" at this age, she's almost an adult and there is no magic switch the day she turns 18, asserting independence is a gradual process that takes place at this age

Yes would be OK with it, my 17 year old DD went to Majorca and Paris with her boyfriend and both were fine.

@TrailingLoellia in that case could OPs DD not just be 'travelling alone' as far as border control are concerned?

Agree it would make much more sense for OP just to provide a letter of consent in any case.

I'm more thinking in terms of OP asking if she should 'allow' it? I don't think she'd have any choice if her Dd chose to travel alone to France and spend time with her bf and family once there. Even if they were on the same flight she would be old enough to claim to be alone?

Or her and bf could be travelling as a couple as far as border control are aware?

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that OP can't stop her?

You don't give "permission" at this age

This isn’t legally true. I’ve posted lots of links, but this is widely known as fact. Look at any U.K. travel insurance company….

The DD will need her parent(s) consent to go abroad.
https://www.holidayextras.com/travel-insurance/children/under-18s-travel-consent-form.html

OP can say no.

OP could stop her. She can have border force stop her from leaving.

More
https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/children-travelling-to-the-uk/children-travelling-to-the-uk-accessible

And (a/o Sept 2023)
“An exploration of the rules and regulations governing travel of persons below the age of 18 years in France reveals that children below the age of 18 are allowed into France with certain conditions. They must be accompanied by an adult of legal age and be prepared to provide proof of parental authorization if needed.”
https://www.franceadmirer.com/can-you-travel-to-france-under-18/

And another….
”What is a Child Travel Consent?Parents/legal guardians use a Child Travel Consent as a formal letter of permission for their child to travel:

• With an adult who doesn’t have parental responsibility (e.g., grandparent or family friend)
• With only one of their parents
• With a group (e.g., school or sports team)
• Alone

Although verbal consent may be enough, border officials often ask for proof of parental permission in an effort to prevent child abduction—which is a criminal offense in England, Wales, Northern Ireland, and Scotland. What’s more, requirements for travelling with a minor can vary by country, the age of the child, their reason for travelling, and who they’re travelling with. As such, it’s important to research the policies of your transportation company and destination country (especially if going abroad). Without a proper Child Travel Consent, travel authorities may delay your child from reaching their destination.

What age can you travel without parental consent?Generally, all persons under the age of 18 are considered minor children in England, Wales, Northern Ireland, and Scotland. As such, they should be prepared to show they have consent to travel.”
https://www.lawdepot.co.uk/contracts/travel-consent-uk/

Thank you all for your thoughts, dd is my only child so this is all new territory for me.

Meeting the parents would be lovely but they live a little way away so the practicalities of meeting them before having to make a decision are tricky. Dd has met them and said they're nice people, I have the bfs mums number and we have messaged each other a bit over the last few months (mostly due to logistics!) she seems fine and normal.

Interesting re the consent issue, I had wondered about that.

Dd will also want money towards the flight/spending money.

Sounds like the majority of parents would be okay with this, I agree better to go with a nice bf and adults then a group of teens!

Up to her surely?

At 17 yes it's fine, they are close to being adults!