After struggling with relationships in years 7-8 (not helped by Covid) my daughter now has a small but stable friendship group. She’s really made an effort to step out of her comfort zone and make herself more approachable and her friendship circle has also widened. I think she can be seen as standoffish and unapproachable at first but it’s just a front and she’s a lovely warm, chatty and interesting person when you get to know her. She has a wide range of interests and lots to chat about. We’ve talked about her being prickly and I think she’s really made an effort with controlling this.
anyway today she had a school event but her close friends were not attending. I was really impressed by her attitude to this and she was looking forwards to it and had made an effort to develop more of a rapport with some people she knew so she could join them. However, it didn’t go as well as we hoped. She said they didn’t really chat to her and that she felt like a ‘hanger on.’ They have a really close friendship group so this was to be expected. She ended up leaving the group but thankfully found someone she was acquainted with and this needed up being quite a positive thing so all was not lost!
But how can I help her to be more resilient in her relationships? If she spots a small snub or perceived lack of interest in her she immediately backs off and thinks she’s not welcome.