Completely and utterly at my wits end…

[WitsEnd10]

I am completely and utterly at my wits end with DS1, 16. His behaviour and attitude gets worse on a daily basis, almost every word out of his mouth is a lie. I’ve reached a point, after years of this behaviour, where I feel like I can no longer live with him. His behaviour has pushed me to a point where I feel like I no longer love him, let alone like him, although I know that deep down I do. Please tell me that I’m not the only person who’s ever felt like this, and that it will end at some point. I feel like things will stay like this forever, and I don’t know how much longer I can carry on.

You are not the only person to feel this way. I am really struggling with my 18 year old son at present. No one has any answers. Feels like everyone else's kid is perfect...

I found that we had to tip toe through 15-17 with DS, compounded by the pandemic. He’s just turned 19 and is almost human again. He still hasn’t quite figured out to adult properly but he’s on his way. His life is on hold at the moment, he’s due to have surgery next month and will have to have his right arm immobile until after Christmas. Hopefully he will then be able to pick up some part time work until he goes to Uni next year.
Tomorrow we are filling in the holes he punched in his bedroom walls when life got too much. I still have the suicide note he wrote (fortunately changed his mind) just before his 17th birthday when he hit rock bottom.
Now he is back to being my easy going, fairly happy, very funny DS.
I still worry but what mother doesn’t.
He is now cured of thumping walls when frustrated, he was spiked earlier this year, somehow managed to get a taxi home but then was paranoid that one of the club bouncers, who stopped him from joining his mates, had followed him. In his frustration he thumped the front door but in doing so put his hand through one of the panes of glass. He has a large scar to remind him and was millimetres from severing the tendons. He hasn’t made any holes since.
I no longer have to tip toe, he’s far less reactive and annoyingly can calmly talk his way out of most situations.
At 16 they really are Jekyl and Hyde. They are irrational, on the one hand they want to do everything for themselves while expecting you to do/fix everything for them. But be patient, be firm and take the doors off their hinges.
DS started to emerge as a more calm and reasonable adult over the last year. I just wish he hadn’t made so many holes in his bedroom walls though.

Hey, you are definitely not alone, my son has just turned 15 he is so angry, he doesn't listen and keeps refusing to go to school/class, keeps getting suspended hitting and throwing things at me calling me awful names, and I'm at the point where I just can't take it anymore.
Unfortunately I'm also at the point where I feel like such a failure I am considering whether or not to go ahead with the su***e thoughts I'm having 😔

Oh gosh @MumofTeennightmare101please don't consider that for too long 😟
I can understand how desperate you must feel but I hope you can find some RL support? I'd really encourage you to if you're having suicidal thoughts. Do you have family or friends you can chat things over with? Or your GP or Samaratans?
Please be kind to yourself and reach out for some rl support as well as on here

I'm 100% in the same boat, I bend over backwards to support my 14 DS, but he swears at me and is so rude. Won't get up for school and just makes everyone's life a misery. I'm done with him, no more money, football games or lifts. He really has pushed me to the limits. I want him to have the best but he really is a nightmare.

Go onto the “just a friendly handhold” thread on this section for support x