Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

What would you do in this situation?

5 replies

thisbathiscoldnow · 03/10/2023 08:21

Last night my teenage DD (13) was unusually quiet. I asked if there was anything bothering her but she said no, however I could tell there was something not right. She'd been checking her phone more than usual and texting so when she went up to bed I checked through her messages (she knows I check her phone)

It was clear from the messages between her and her best friend that her best friend has been self harming. For context, from what I know about this girl, her mum has a drug problem and left the family home about a year ago with this girls older sisters so friend lives with her Dad. The mum has apparently been saying to DDs friend that she was a mistake and she wishes she hasn't been born.
DD only became close to this friend last summer, I have invited her over for tea/ sleepovers etc which she's been to and seems nice enough although painfully quiet and shy around me and OH so I'm not sure she'd take well to me attempting to talk to her in any way. I've met her Dad a couple of times but only to say 'hello' to when he's dropped her off or picked her up.

DD was very mature in her responses to her and urged her to get help, told her she's there for her etc but it's obviously a lot for her deal with.
I have spoken with her this morning and told her I'm proud of her for the way she's responded to her but that I'm also worried. We had a hug and a chat but I'm not really sure where to go from here, if anywhere. I know it's none of my business but then I feel like I should do or say something?
What would you do?

OP posts:
SaltedCaramelIcedLatte · 03/10/2023 08:25

Contact the safeguarding lead at the school and let them know!

It is lovely that your daughter has been supportive!

thisbathiscoldnow · 03/10/2023 13:12

Thanks for your reply.

Would this be an anonymous tip? My DD made me promise I wouldn't say anything to anyone and I don't want to break her trust and stop her from coming to me with things in the future.

OP posts:
Octobermeterreadtime · 03/10/2023 13:16

Unfortunately you need to tell dd when someone's safety is at risk you can't promise to keep such a secret.. My dd was self harming and we didn't know. It progressed to her overdosing twice. Police got her off a bridge one of those times. Luckily we got her the relevant help. Your dd and you are out of your depth. And actually hindering the poor girl getting help if you don't speak up.

thisbathiscoldnow · 03/10/2023 17:33

Yes, you're right. I'll get in touch with the school and hopefully they'll be able to get her the help she needs.
Thank you for the advice

OP posts:
SmokedCheese · 03/10/2023 17:37

There are some things that you can keep secret and some things you can’t. Safeguarding is one of the things you have to inform the safeguarding lead.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread