Thank you Flyhigher but it all comes from hard won experience. We are through the worst and out the other side now thank heavens 😄, but I made some pretty big errors when my dds were going through adolescence. I was too shouty and negative and I was going through menopause and I allowed myself to get too beaten down by it all and I wasn’t confident enough in my own parenting. Nor did I put enough effort in to maintaining my own physical and mental health.
I’m ashamed to say that, although I tried my best, and I was there for them 100%, I don’t think I was there for them in the right way some of the time.
I found it a very confusing and lonely time tbh. I just couldn’t for the life of me understand the hostility and level of vitriol coming from my dds (one in particular) towards me and my dh, when to my mind they had had good upbringings and we had always put them first.
Of course they were projecting their inner uncertainties on to us, particularly me, and one of my dds turned out to be ND which I had no clue about at the time. All together it’s been a huge learning curve.
My one regret is I wish I had understood more when I started. I feel more clued up now in dealing with teens, and ASD, but what with life being short and moving so fast, I have no more children to practice on 🤷♀️😄. That’s it; their childhood is over!
My two have moved out of home now and are both intelligent, empathetic and productive young women and I am really proud of them. But honestly their adolescence was one of the hardest things I ever went through and I don’t think it’s spoken about enough.
So hang in there op. This is a very testing phase. But I promise that you are not alone and that it will gradually get better 🌹. Please get yourself some support and talk to others and do things which bring you inner calm and joy and that will sustain you through the more difficult times xx