Snapchat

[Mandymoonboob]

What are your rules for things like Snapchat for a 12-13 year old?

I honestly wouldn't let them have it.
My son shows me his Snap and the stuff on there is just such a risk for children (he's 17)
Openly selling drugs, groups encouraging random people to join.
Just no

I agree, I have just recently seen all of my son's pictures and content, including a folder called 'for my eyes only'. He is now grounded for a month and I'm going to block Snapchat on our home wi-fi, he's only 16 and I wish I had been more clued up on this toxic app.

Anyone can contact them. They don't need the phone number... literally totally random people can friend them and if you're naive like my DS you accept. I'm not giving details but it has involved the legal system and utter shame and humiliation for him. Cannot urge you strongly enough away from it.

DS is 14 he's deleted it now I made sure of it.its a vile app toxic bullying,drugs,gangs,sexual images I can just about stomach him using tik tok but Snapchat absolutely not!

I'm just in my broadband setting blocking Snapchat after seeing my 16-year-old account. I urge all parents to look at their child's phone and Snapchat account. I don't think I will be giving my son his phone back!

Those of you who have discovered dodgy/ inappropriate things on your kids' Snapchat- how did you find then? I thought the thing about Snapchat was that all messages disappear.

I don't really know how it works to be honest but things can be screenshot or saved and shared on different platforms. I use a family app that allows me to block or time limit apps separately and alerts me when one is downloaded so he can have his phone but access to whatever is 100% controlled by me.

I'm curious about the posters who have discovered content, folder etc - how have you managed to do this?

Also agree - our older teen who has ALN got herself into seem recent bother with inappropriate use & strangers. - It a temptation waiting to happen if your DC isn't so good at self regulating/vulnerable! Ours was discovered through confession but continued ..

Our rule is no Snapchat/Tiktok until 15/16. Of course DD isn't happy about that because "all her friends have it" but as I told her, my responsibility is to keep her safe. Her option was to have no phone or have a phone without Snapchat etc on.

DD finally got Snapchat at 16. Used appropriately it's fun and has really good maps. But absolutely ripe for really dangerous use in younger teens/tweens who aren't quite as clued up as they think they are.
Avoid until older.

How did you manage to see this? I try to keep an eye on my dc's phone but have never managed to see anything on sc as it gets deleted straight away.

It's a hard no for my DC and I'm fairly easy-going about social media! But, in my eyes, it's just asking for them to be groomed in a variety of ways given the 'view once' nature of it.

My Dd kept being added to a group chat in which she was being talked about and bullied. Blocked.

I have the same regular debate with my 13 year old. Thing is, I don't really know what my argument is now because they point out that what's app, text messages etc can be easily deleted. It's a complete pain and I feel really backward because everybody else has it. Just waiting on the Can I get it for my 14hh birthday to begin...

Google child accounts are also a complete headache. I had it set up so it switched off at 8 on a school night- this was accepted but as soon as a child becomes 13 google prompts them to take control of their own account. Of course they are going to click yes! The number of fights I've had about screen time now is a complete pain in the arse. Really bad policy from google.

@ColourByNumbers88 you can override that. I can't recall how but it's in the settings on your version of the app. The difference between Snapchat and WhatsApp is the function that allows completely random people to contact you without knowing your number. Yes you can delete and block but they can pop up with another name, a name you might think is a trusted friend.

I’ve a 14 yr old asking me as well.
Sorry to hijack your post but I don’t understand snap chat at all.

• If they are added to a group can they leave?
• can they block people or refuse friend requests
• Has anyone’s child managed to keep it to a small trusted group of friends? or does it just explode.

Hi yes you can just leave,and you can also block people and refuse friend requests.going through my sons phone what I found was what starts out as just a few friends,more people from school and outside hear about the group it can get a bit out of control.

And one of the problems my son was honest with me about as the group got bigger some boys thought it would be fun to share pics they had taken of girls at school and share them around.and most likely without consent from the girls too.

That was the final straw for me I try to teach my son to have respect for women and girls and its not a case of boys being boys,Snapchat has a serious toxic problem amongst teens and my advice is to avoid.stick to WhatsApp Snapchat is vile in my opinion

Hi Agnes,
I was able to see what I did on my son's Snapchat account because I have confiscated his phone and I know his passwords (he uses the same one for most things). He has bare-faced lied to me when I have given him every opportunity to be truthful. So he has been grounded for a month now and I feel like I don't want to give him his phone back. As as soon as I do he will change all the passwords. I have now blocked Snapchat on our home broadband. As when I took his phone, he just went on to his computer and logged on to it there. I use family link to give him a certain amount of hours on his computer but I also have his login-in details for his gmail and monitor his history from my laptop. He has not clicked on I'm doing that yet.
The trust has gone, so I'm being as sneaky as he is (which breaks my heart). And he has just lied to my face again this morning when I asked him a direct question. So I asked the same question again and told him to 'look me in the eyes' and 'swear on my life', and he fest-up. I have no idea how to build trust with him again or keep him safe when he keeps on making bad choices to stay popular with his d*head mates. 😭

@BibbleandSqwauk thanks. I contacted google but the only way for me to resolve it was to switch the chromebook for me to be the owner, and then reinstate the child account. The chromebook is theirs and had been from the beginning. It just seems like such an irresponsible policy from google. Like a 13 year old is suddenly mature enough for unlimited access. It should be till at least 16. And would avoid all these arguments. The iPhone still allows parental controls without having to change the settings.

I hate the app but it’s a fact of life along with tik tok, WhatsApp etc they can delete and edit as they see fit
I also know of kids being so desperate to be included in everything they get a phone without parents knowledge my DD’s mate had a phone for 6 months unbeknown to the parents as another child gave it to her. Therefore I prefer to keep an oversight on it. My rule is she can have it but it’s open to spot checks and I do check it most nights. You can’t see everything (just like you can’t hear all their conversations etc at school etc) but you can get a general gist of things. My dd also comes
to me with many things that happen (I’m not silly enough to think she tells me everything) but iv tried to install her with the knowledge that I will always help her if she needs it. Iv told her stories about how Snapchat can be misused such as a boy being stabbed ina. Nearby town he was set up by people that now spend their life in prison, iv asked she doesn’t get involved in group chat for example she comments bare minimum about social plans but that’s it
incheck her friends list all the time and she should only have people she knows
yes there are drug dealers etc on there and what they do has given me knowledge on how it works and where and who she should avoid (we also have life 360)
these are rules and boundaries I want her to have in adulthood. I think we owe it to our kids to responsibility teach them about these things so when they hit 16,17,18 etc they don’t go wild

wr do all have different children though Ms what works for one may not for another so far this is working for us I feel like have more oversight into what’s happening in her world than if we didn’t do it this way however she has for the most part been responsible with it (as she doesn’t want to lose it)

Join this instagram group:

www.instagram.com/smartphonefreechildhood?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

Thanks. I'm so sorry, that sounds really tough. 💐

@OC71 That's useful to know you can block it on the broadband because similarly we've given multiple chances in the past - the situation only become worse so consequently Wifi was severely restricted until an agreement could be made. Still waiting!!

Yes, I logged in to my broadband account (I'm with Virgin) and put the actual websites I wanted to block such as PornHub and Snapchat. You can also block genres such as peer-to-peer chat, weapons, dating and gambling sites etc, but these will block your access to sites as well, say if you play the National Lottery etc. And you can also block the wifi for a specific device such as your child's laptop or phone.
Parents need more education on how to control their broadband rather than just downloading an app that monitors their kid's usage. I think children need to know that wifi is not a right but a privilege that needs to be earned!
Good luck to all the parents out there that feel that the World Wide Web is like the Wild West. And hopefully, the online safety bill will be able to protect our children from the evils of the internet that is making a few men in the world very rich and powerful, at the expense of our children's innocence and mental health, so that one day all kids can enjoy the amazing aspects of the internet without the massive dangers they are so easily currently exposed to.