I'm at my wits end with my 15 year old daughter. I've just finished calming my 12 year old autistic son down as she's been in his room moving things around, why, to upset him so he has a meltdown. When I ask her why she would want to do this I'm told its a laugh it's funny and to get F out of her room. Last year we found out she was being groomed online, police were/are involved. Since she has became gradually more and more out of control, she constantly runs away from home, a couple of months ago she was found 150 miles away from home, we had not had any arguments, she just went to school and didn't come home. She refused to answer her phone to us, when I asked her why, all she could do was laugh and say she was bored and didn't want to talk to us. She refuses to go to school most days, she's only meant to be in the afternoons as she is on a reduced timestable now. When I try to get her up she'll tell me to F off and lash out I try to give her a shake or nudge to wake her up. She's attacked me and her dad. I've called social services asking for help for her but not getting anywhere. She shares a room with her sister who has down syndrome and taunts her and has slapped her once, but instantly denied it, she's been told of she touches her again the police will called. She has no respect for me and dad and calls us the C word as well as many others. It's not just us she's spoken to her grandparents like this as well and teachers. There just seems to be 0 respect at the moment. We have taken her phone and laptop as a consequence. I've tried sitting her down and talking to her but she just laughs, I've tried the how would you feel if we treated you like this or spoke to you like this. I've tried the stern approach, nothing seems to work. Last time she attacked me I called the social services and explained I had no one who could take her and asked if they could arrange a temporary placement somewhere for her and was told it was my job to find some where for her and they couldn't offer any help or support. She's been brought home in handcrafts multiple times as when the police pick her up for running away she kicks off at them.
I dont think she is doing everything out of just badness. Shes been self harming and has been in hospital twice after taking major overdoeses. Shes clearly not happy, which is breaking my heart. I've arranged counselling for her but she won't Speak to them and walked out. She's going to camhs and has just started opening up to them. I'm really hoping they can find out whats going on in her head and help her.
I'm just so worried about her and trying to balance this with keeping the rest of my family safe. I dont know what to do, I've 2 older children that have moved out and have never experienced anything like this. Any advice?