Teenagers telling you things about their friends.

[fruitstick]

I have a good relationship with DS.

He tells me lots of stuff and we talk about a lot of things happening in his friendship circle.

My position so far is that anything he tells me is in confidence, and I don't share it with other parents.

However I'm sure he will tell me things that, as a parent, I would like to know if it was my child.

I'm sure there are things he isn't telling me about himself that other parents might know.

Where do you draw the line on when to let other parents know something is up.

This is a hypothetical question, nothing has come yet that I thought was worth endangering his willingness to tell me.

I would say unless in potentially endangers life, keep quiet. My teens tell me lots of things, knowing that I won’t repeat what they say. They trust me and ask for advice and know I’ll always have their backs and rescue them, and their friends, from any dangerous situation they may end up in.

If I broke their confidence, it would destroy their trust in me.

Teens will experiment with drugs, drink too much, party etc. All completely normal and nothing I would repeat. Going to meet a secret older man for eg, is something I might well get involved in…

I think it depends on what it is. Generally speaking, no. I told one of DD's friends' mum about something once-but only after I had discussed it at length with dd. She recently told me, nearly 10 years later, that she was hugely relieved I took the responsibility off her shoulders.

Thank you, I've been thinking along those exact lines.

This has reassured me.