My DS turned 18 a month ago. I have a 9 y/o at home also. My 18 y/o is constantly assertive with 9y/o, to the point 9y/o gets irritated and becomes angry the moment his DB comes home. Constant arguments and bickering when left unsupervised.
Older DS has taken a gap year, works 16 hours a week tops, and often won't get up until 1/2pm. I'm aware that he is an adult now, so pass no judgment or opinion on this however, he doesn't mind disturbing the household up and down the stairs getting phone charger, quilt, ear phones etc several times a night.
Whenever I say anything about anything, he flounces out of the room with an air of being better than everyone about him. I have been off work for two months with depression, due to long term PTSD and anxiety. Since being off work, he has seriously regressed in the things he will help with at home. He would wash the pots for me in the past after tea, or at least vacuum his room. The general attitude has now basically been, as mums off work, she can do everything and I can do nothing.
It's to the point he won't make himself food and will go hungry or order takeout (never offers anyone else, and will sit there eating treats in front of LB, refusing if he asks), or even take his washing upstairs and put it away. I am seriously struggling at the moment, having treatment for depression and anxiety, and I have really struggled over the holidays to hide it from my younger son. My eldest passes comments such as, "and what have you done today?" or "Well I've been out, so I shouldn't have to help." He hasn't always been this self centred.
He will come home, I'll greet him and try to make conversation or ask if he wants anything, to be met with a grunt and straight up the stairs out of our company. He seems to be getting worse than better. How long does the moody teen stage last for? Or has he just become a really arrogant sod? I really don't like many parts of him at the moment.
I asked him to cut the grass for me while I went for counselling the other day (he's unaware of this, just said I had a checkup), and the look on his face was sheer horror. He's got a very feminine attitude and gives off this air that he should be a kept man. For now, I feel like he is expecting me to fulfill this role until he meets a boyfriend. I've been a single parent for 4 years, and he has always been encouraged to clean his mess etc. Now he just seems to treat me like a maid. I am tired and I am sick of the flouncing whenever I try to approach anything with him.