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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

DS caught vaping at school today

8 replies

feemcgee · 30/08/2023 11:17

DS (14) was caught vaping today at school, his head of year phoned to tell me and he has a "period of reflection" after school tomorrow. I get why they are doing it but this is the latest in many times I have found either vapes or vape boxes at home. He always has denied that they are his, but they obviously are. The headteacher caught him with the smoke coming out of his mouth, so he can't deny it any more! As well as the health risks, it's the cost - I've already said that I won't give him money to spend on vapes.
Any advice on what to do about this?

OP posts:
SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 30/08/2023 17:56

How much money is he getting?

Are his friends vaping? It's difficult not to do something that all if your friends are. At that age it was smoking for me. All of my friends were but I didn't want to.

Maybe talk to him about how he can make decisions for himself.

travelallthetime · 30/08/2023 18:02

Eurgh, going through this myself with my son. Vaping is a nightmare that is going to come out as really bloody unsafe and banned or cut down on like smoking was. It is totally geared towards idiot teenagers too. So, I know my son vapes, what can I do? Not a lot really. He knows if I catch him doing it in the house I will chuck it and take his phone. Same if he gets caught in school. If I find it, it goes in the bin. Im not really sure what else we can do. Other than this he is a pretty good kid, in general, I mean he doesnt get detentions and knows when he has taken it too far with us, will talk to adults and be nice if he needs to etc.

SirChenjins · 30/08/2023 18:17

My youngest cherub was caught doing the same thing at the same age and I got a phone call from the school to inform me - what a proud parent I was that day. It depends on whether you favour the nuclear option of grounding and loss of Xbox etc, or the more softly softly approach of cutting off all forms of income and laying into him with the dangers of vaping (of which there are many). Or all of the above.

How’s his behaviour otherwise?

Original poster
feemcgee · 31/08/2023 14:41

Thanks everyone! I was just thinking over the summer that he's got more mature, and we did have a calm conversation about it when he got home. He said he was with other boys in the toilets and he didn't want to look boring. I said that the lesson there is that you were the one who got caught and punished, so the lesson is that it's not worth it. I've been paying him £20 a week to do the cleaning and he's kept that up since going back to school.
Also - I was caught smoking in the toilets at that age, there's so much that my parents weren't told about!

OP posts:
CN2004 · 05/09/2023 14:23

I'm going through this (again and again.and.again) with my son who turns 14 this week. Evrty time we catch him.he says it isn't his, so we made the "offence" just possession - to be clear that just having them isn't allowed (even though wr knew damn well they are his). Repeat then gounded. again and again. He will never admit that they are his. He won't talk to us no matter how reasonable and calm we try to be. Now he is grounded for it again.and he has just outright disobeyed us and.gone out anyway, left a note saying "I can't stay in. Sorry. I'll be home later".
We are at our wits end! In all other respect he is a good kid, a bit lazy at school but naturally clever, likeable, sporty, polite, helpful. We just have no idea what to do. We already control all his spending and check his account, he never gets so he can't buy them, but somehow he gets them. He is so popular among his peers, I even said you don't.need to do.this to be cool and fit in so why are you afdicted do we need to address an addiction. Same old answer "I'm not, it's not mine". Constant bullshit. I honestly despair.

.

Haysmiths · 05/09/2023 14:29

Vaping appears to be a common problem. Whilst I try talking of the dangers, banning phone time, pocket money etc - it really does not help that vapes are readily available in shops and don't seem to have the same restrictions as alcohol or cigarettes.

I don't understand why :

  • shops sell to underage young people (I've seen shops sell to children in school uniform)
  • display vapes prominently
  • vapes are sold with fruity flavours
  • vapes are sold in brightly coloured packaging
Haysmiths · 05/09/2023 14:30

Also vapes are very cheap.

CN2004 · 05/09/2023 14:31

There is a documentary on Netflix called The Big Vape and it explains that they have marketed to the kids purposely to get a captive audience for as long as possible. It made me so angry that I couldn't watch the whole programme!

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