ds failed his exams and I'm worried he won't get a place in another college

Winterrain7 · 2023-08-28T12:47:52+00:00

My ds finished school this time and has only just turned 16. He has struggled at school with learning and after lockdown the teachers put him in interventions to help him. Unfortunately they did not keep to this. One minute he's in them then he doesn't need them. He came home after his mocks to say he thinks he has a problem. I have begged and begged the school for help and they promised they would but never did. Then once gcse qere approaching they said it was too late. He struggled mainly in English but good in maths. He was predicted 4-5 maths and 4 English but actually failed the English mock exam. 2 weeks before gcse the English teacher decides to help but by then it was too late. My ds wasn't expecting high grades but was expecting a standard pass but unfortunately he failed them both. He was absolutely devastated. Sixth form have withdrawn their placement offer and sent him to careers advisor. He's going to another college tomorrow to talk to them but I'm scared they won't hav3 any places left in what he has now set his heart on. He worried because he's not had a taster at this college he doesn't know how to get there as it means 2 buses and I'm scared for him. I kept telling him to apply for another college incase sixth form didn't work out but he was adamant on his predicted grades he would and the college said he would too. I do think my ds has learning difficulties which I will speak to the college about if he does get to enroll. He is quite young for his age, struggles to take things un etc. I've never had issues with his behaviour or anything like that. I've had no sleep all weekend worrying about college, his future, him knowing how to get there, making new friends. He feels like a failure and he's embarrassed by his results which is so hard to see. The look on his face when he opened that letter just broke my heart.

WilmaFlintstone1 · 28/08/2023 13:56

Oh bless him, don’t panic as a college will help him move forwards. They will take him from where he is at the moment and also apply for extra funding if they feel he needs help.

He is not a failure, he’s 16 and has his whole life to achieve the grades he wants.

QuillBill · 28/08/2023 13:59

I think a lot of them got a bit of a shock this year. My own dd certainly did.

I honestly don't think there is a need for panic.

This college where he had a place. Will they let him do a different course from the one he had originally applied for?

Are there any other options other than the one two buses away? And have you checked to make sure there isn't another way of getting there. EG some colleges have their own transport/buses.

Needmorelego · 28/08/2023 13:59

Does the 6th Form offer retakes? He could do 1 year of retakes and then 2 years of A-levels (or T-Levels/Btec).
All teens are entitled to 3 years of 6th Form/College.
Or the college will offer 1 year retake courses.

notnowbernadette · 28/08/2023 14:00

There should be a college in your area that offer a suitable curriculum. It might be worth him taking a 1 year level 2 course alongside retaking Maths and English. If he passed that he could then probably go onto his original plan.

QuillBill · 28/08/2023 14:01

Needmorelego · 28/08/2023 13:59

Does the 6th Form offer retakes? He could do 1 year of retakes and then 2 years of A-levels (or T-Levels/Btec).
All teens are entitled to 3 years of 6th Form/College.
Or the college will offer 1 year retake courses.

This is a good plan.

Mumuser124 · 28/08/2023 14:04

Most colleges will only let you take one retake along side your course. Have you looked into a college that will allow him to retake his GCSE 's as a course, they tend to offer 5.

LIZS · 28/08/2023 14:18

What does he want to do? He is most likely to be accepted onto a level 2 course alongside English and Maths resits if less than level 4. Hopefully with support on place he could move onto level 3 next year. A lot of colleges will only open for enrolment tomorrow.

Original poster

Winterrain7 · 28/08/2023 15:33

Ds said the only reasons he chose sixth form is because he didn't know what he wanted to do at all when he left school. After an appointment with sixth form they said he could do t level along side maths and english and a chosen course. There were limited courses so ds chose ict, though I don't actually think this is what he wanted to do. After some deep thought he is thinking more along the lines of something hands on like plumbing etc. I rang the college and they said he would most certainly be enrolled there with his grades but cant guarantee the course as it may be full by then so he may need to pick an alternative. We have an appointment tomorrow. The 2 nearest colleges are both a bus ride into city centre which he is comfortable with as he's done the journey many times. Then he needs to find the right bus to the college. There is a bus stop right outside the college so that will be handy.

He told me lastnight that he now knows what he wants and os gutted about is grades. He feels rubbish and I just cant stand the thought of him getting let down again by this college. I pushed to see if sixth form would allow him retake etc and the ladies words were "with grades like thay, he cannot come here. There is nothing we can offer him". I've never seen my ds look so upset, dissapointed and embarrassed. How I held my tears in a do not know. It played on my mind all weekend.

I do not understand how the school can say he was predicted 4-5 and came out as mainly 1 and 2 and two 3. I begged them to help him and they said they couldn't see an issue but my ds is adamant there is one. Dyslexia runs in my family and so does autism and the school knew this. They were the ones who said there is some sort of learning block and wanted to help, then said no he's just slightly behind. It's like they just couldn't be bothered to help and shut me down everytime.

OP posts:

LIZS · 28/08/2023 15:51

Worth ask about learning support at each college. It is an opportunity for a fresh start and hopefully he can reach his potential with the right support in place.

YellowDots · 28/08/2023 17:13

He won't be the only one disappointed by their results. A lot of students have fallen well short of their predicted grades this year. My dd was predicted sevens for English and got fives and a six for maths and she got a four. She was upset on results day and has had to rejig what she wanted to do for A level now.

www.theguardian.com/education/2023/aug/24/gcse-results-fall-england-anti-grade-inflation-plans

We had to pay for our own dyslexia test for dd. Schools just don't seem to have the money for anything at the moment.

Hopefully you will be able to find something he wants to do at college tomorrow when you go.

Hellocatshome · 28/08/2023 17:20

If all the courses he wants to do are full could he do an 1 year course while resitting maths and English then enrol on his chosen course next year? It will give him more time to decide what he wants to do as well. I know our back up plan for DS was to do a 1 year multi skills course (a bit of plumbing, electrics, carpentry etc) alongside resits.

deltablue · 29/08/2023 04:44

So sorry to read this, OP- we were in exactly the same place- grades weren't as predicted and we did the "walk of shame" round six schools (we'd applied for four) for 6th form to be told "oh no, he won't be able to have a place here". He was devastated and I just felt so humiliated and worried for him. Anyway, we've regrouped and are hoping to get on a BTec (hadn't even thought about that) - there will be places available in your area, I'm sure. roughly where are you?- if that's not an awkward question. You are not alone, and he will get in and perhaps even do better with a different style of learning. Wish you all the best.

Original poster

Winterrain7 · 29/08/2023 17:08

Well after attending college today they have accepted him on a level 1 course in plumbing and cab resit alongside that. Ds is adamant its what he wants but they did warn this is a hard course and alot of theory which he will struggle in. I've told them he struggles and they have wrote a few things down and will do a dyslexia test and other tests alongside if possible. I do feel it may be harder than he thinks judging by what the lecturer told him today and I have told them I don't want him struggling throughout college aswell as school. They have said many drop out and quite a few have failed but this didn't out ds off and I think they know judging by today he will try his best. They seemed very helpful. Me and ds feel like a weight has been lifted but I can't help but worry he's going to struggle again and this scares me.
He also saw a friend there from school on the same course so he's happy about that too.

OP posts:

RoseBucket · 29/08/2023 17:18

Of course it’ll be hard, you need to change your mindset from the word hard to challenging.

Challenging with support, be upbeat, fight for the right support if it’s needed, it is achievable, he needs to know it’s within his grasp he just needs to believe it, the right mindset can often lead to more academic success.

Hellocatshome · 29/08/2023 17:37

RoseBucket · 29/08/2023 17:18

Of course it’ll be hard, you need to change your mindset from the word hard to challenging.

Challenging with support, be upbeat, fight for the right support if it’s needed, it is achievable, he needs to know it’s within his grasp he just needs to believe it, the right mindset can often lead to more academic success.

I find when they talk to kids about any of the trade courses such as plumbing, electrics, joinery etc they do over emphasise how hard it will be because a lot of kids sign up to those courses thinking they will be an easy option. I'm sure if you son goes in with the right attitude he will be successful. After he has done the level 1 he could look for an apprenticeship which would help him continue his qualifications and get the hands on experience he needs.

OvaHere · 29/08/2023 17:37

Winterrain7 · 29/08/2023 17:08

Well after attending college today they have accepted him on a level 1 course in plumbing and cab resit alongside that. Ds is adamant its what he wants but they did warn this is a hard course and alot of theory which he will struggle in. I've told them he struggles and they have wrote a few things down and will do a dyslexia test and other tests alongside if possible. I do feel it may be harder than he thinks judging by what the lecturer told him today and I have told them I don't want him struggling throughout college aswell as school. They have said many drop out and quite a few have failed but this didn't out ds off and I think they know judging by today he will try his best. They seemed very helpful. Me and ds feel like a weight has been lifted but I can't help but worry he's going to struggle again and this scares me.
He also saw a friend there from school on the same course so he's happy about that too.

A few years ago my older DS did Level 1 Electrical which runs alongside Plumbing. Electrical may slightly easier - I don't know much about plumbing.

Point is he is autistic, has an EHCP and missed about 60% of his secondary schooling. He was only put in for 3 GCSEs and got 1s and 2s.

With support he managed to pass Level 1 though and this was through covid when a lot of practicals were missed due to lockdown. In my experience FE colleges are used to boys who need support, especially in the trades, and you may find they are better than school.

Good luck.

SavetheNHS · 29/08/2023 18:40

OP, I'm so glad your DS has a place at college. It's hard to see their confidence knocked, but hopefully he will feel good about himself again soon. Fingers crossed for a better experience this time round.

Original poster

Winterrain7 · 29/08/2023 19:21

Thankyou all for your kind words and great advice. Your right, my mindset does need to change. I'm just so used to him not getting the support I've been trying to get him I don't want to see him struggle again. He is very happy now though has said it hasn't fully sunk in he's actually a student now. He is a bit panicked about the bus but does now have someone to go with which will make it easier. I haven't got the bus in years so don't even know where to start. A monthly pass will be better but at the moment we've found 2 separate prices and don't quite understand why they're different prices so we are rushing to get that sorted as he will be starting on Monday and he's eager to get the bus so he can relax about times etc.

I'm so glad he's got a place and the college have offered help and support along with any tests they can do to help him. He feels happy knowing he may get an answer for his struggles.
@OvaHere well done to your ds, thats brilliant he passed! And amongst all through covid too.

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Boomboom22 · 29/08/2023 19:58

That's great, I think he'll be fine on level 1 it's equivalent to grade 1 2 3 at gcse, then he can steadily work on level 2 then maybe 3 in another year or 2. They get 3 years funding for level 3 courses as long as start when under 19 so 4 years from now if he stayed in the college. Or maybe after lev 1 or 2 he can get an apprenticeship.

caringcarer · 29/08/2023 20:19

Get him to a college that will do level 2 BTEC's and GCSE results in Maths and English. My son went to a special school that wouldn't let him sit many exams. Last year he passed Science and Food Technology. He got a GCSE grade 3 for Maths. I got him in at a very good college to do BTEC level 2 Sports Performance and Coaching and a Maths resit. He had never sat English before so at college did a Functional Skills level 1. He passed them all. The teaching was so much better and they looked at what he could do as opposed to what he couldn't do. This year he's enrolled for the BTEC level 3 in Sports Performance and Coaching and English Language GCSE. He's full of confidence now. I can't praise his college enough. Taking the extra year is not the end of the world. In the scheme of life a year is nothing. Look at the prospectus online and a BTEC can be continuous coursework instead of exams. It suits kids who panic in exams but generally have a good understanding and will work hard.

whathaveiforgottentoday · 29/08/2023 20:52

Winterrain7 · 29/08/2023 17:08

Well after attending college today they have accepted him on a level 1 course in plumbing and cab resit alongside that. Ds is adamant its what he wants but they did warn this is a hard course and alot of theory which he will struggle in. I've told them he struggles and they have wrote a few things down and will do a dyslexia test and other tests alongside if possible. I do feel it may be harder than he thinks judging by what the lecturer told him today and I have told them I don't want him struggling throughout college aswell as school. They have said many drop out and quite a few have failed but this didn't out ds off and I think they know judging by today he will try his best. They seemed very helpful. Me and ds feel like a weight has been lifted but I can't help but worry he's going to struggle again and this scares me.
He also saw a friend there from school on the same course so he's happy about that too.

Sounds like a good option. The college will support him as they have plenty of students that struggled in school.

My Dd has followed a similar route and did a level 2 Btec last and is moving onto a level 3 course for next 2 years. There is no rush through education and many students need an extra year to get to where they want to be.

You may find him not getting into 6th form ends up as a blessing in disguise as sounds like he would have struggled.

Boomboom22 · 29/08/2023 20:57

Lev 1 might not be a bad idea if some of his grades were 1 and 2 rather than 3 close to the 4 grade boundary. And if his tutors think he is good they will move him over to lev 2 or skip it straight to 3, College is usually flexible and entirely different skills. If he can do functional skills instead of gcse even better tbh.

Starlightstarbright2 · 29/08/2023 21:08

Sometimes these curve balls are a good thing .

my Ds has enrolled today - different course - was planning A levels but didn’t pass the ones he wanted to do .

i actually think it will be far better for him.

it sounds like college sound like they are supportive of him . Get him in a headspace where he believes he can .

I would also pay for a tutor to support him if you can possibly afford it .

dahliadazed · 29/08/2023 21:42

Thats great he’s found a course.
If the college will support then consider getting an EHCP - it means your sons education can be funded for longer which is useful when starting with a level 1 course as it will potentially take 4 years to finish level 3.

RoseBucket · 30/08/2023 11:08

caringcarer · 29/08/2023 20:19

Get him to a college that will do level 2 BTEC's and GCSE results in Maths and English. My son went to a special school that wouldn't let him sit many exams. Last year he passed Science and Food Technology. He got a GCSE grade 3 for Maths. I got him in at a very good college to do BTEC level 2 Sports Performance and Coaching and a Maths resit. He had never sat English before so at college did a Functional Skills level 1. He passed them all. The teaching was so much better and they looked at what he could do as opposed to what he couldn't do. This year he's enrolled for the BTEC level 3 in Sports Performance and Coaching and English Language GCSE. He's full of confidence now. I can't praise his college enough. Taking the extra year is not the end of the world. In the scheme of life a year is nothing. Look at the prospectus online and a BTEC can be continuous coursework instead of exams. It suits kids who panic in exams but generally have a good understanding and will work hard.

Yes!! That’s fantastic, your son sounds bloody amazing, love this! Also at the risk of sounding patronising, it’s not my intention, well done you also, I had to fight for my daughter and know how hard it is.