How to support 15 year old DD with studying

[Frustration247]

Hi I have a very lovely DD who’s about to start an exam year .
shes a bit “ I don’t care if I fail I’ll just marry a footballer “ which I don’t think she means but rather comes from a mix of teenage chat 101 and maybe fear leading to defensive chat .
my love for her is not conditional on her doing well academically believe me ! Her happiness is what matters to me. However I also just want to get that balance between not adding to what is already a stressful time but also supporting her to put the effort in so that hopefully she’s giving herself the best chance of having choices as she moves through school and beyond ?
does anyone else have a VERY independent “ if you tell me the sea is blue I’m going to tell you it’s red “ child and do you have any tips for supporting them from the sidelines ? I’m basically just going with the ‘ I love you and support you and let me know how I can help ‘ but I feel anxious about this year .
thanks in advance

All you can do is
1)give her the physical space to study. Has she got a desk , in her room that she can shut the door on the noise front the rest of the house?
2) time to study. Is she expected to work, help round the house ? Not saying she shouldn't be, but just set out expectations now. Chores must be done then her evening is hers etc
3) provide snacks and drinks !
4) be there to listen to her moans when she is getting frustrated by it all

I think your approach is sound.
Make it easy for her to study - space, resources etc and keep approachable and relaxed.
Ask her if there's anything she needs - revision guides, bit of extra tutoring etc and back off if she says no.
Schools are generally very good at applying the pressure for this year and giving lots of academic support, what she might need at home is a bit of TLC.

Let school give her the strong messages and be there to support and encourage her.
Attend all parent’ evenings etc. so you can find out about her progress.
Closer to the time of exams, read up about how to support your child around this time. Good luck, it’s a difficult time.

Thank you , yes she has the physical space, desk , quiet room etc
hundred percent right about the snacks !
i think I know in my head I just need to be there and available when and if she needs but I’m just still struggling with suddenly having a daughter who does not want me involved !

I came on to write a very similar post. I really appreciate your struggle Frustrated. I will read people's views with interest.

Our is DD going in to Year 11. She's academically capable but her effort seems mediocre, leading to mixed results generally below the school's assessment of her potential.

DH and I have tried to talk about her goals and plans for the future. We've suggested incentives. We've tried to set requirements (phone time/social time etc.) but it's not made a difference.

The motivation needs to come from her but it's so frustrating when it doesn't. I'm finding it so hard to leave her to it but only managing to wind her up even asking whether she has a plan (to get her holiday homework done for example).

She is primarily focused on her social life and friendships. She's very happy with her friends and her boyfriend. I would prefer her to be laid back than stressed out and anxious but I'd also obviously like to see her care about doing well and recognise the link between doing well and having put the effort in!