16 and moving

[Runaround50]

DS ( 15.5) has a year left of school and DD is off to uni in a few weeks.

Myself and DP works like to move to be closer to my parents ( we are currently 150 miles apart).

I have a feeling that DS won't want to move. He's very comfortable within his surroundings right now, even though he will have to put a plan in place for next year ( college / apprenticeship etc).

I totally get why he wouldn't want to move, it's his hometown. I on the other hand, just want to be closer to my parents and don't like the town we are in ( run down centre ) and would just like a new life so where else, with hopefully more prospects for DS.

Anyone successfully moved with a 16 year old? Did they settle?

You're planning to move before or after he has finished his exams?

Have you thought about what affect either of those might have on him during that already stressful time?

My DS is the same age and I just can't imagine doing that to him.

Why can't you just wait another couple of years until he goes off to uni or is ready to move out?

No idea why you’d do this. Be a parent and prioritise your son for a few years until he has finished school and found his path.

PLEASE don’t move at 16 year old. A friend’s parents did that at a similar age. … it affected their relationship for a very long time .

Agree with the others.
Your timing really is way off the mark.

Put your child first.
Is your dp his dad?

Thanks, yes, I hear what you are saying. No way would we move before exams. I just thought that as he seems to want to either go to college to learn a trade, or even get a job ( as he has also expressed a wish to do) we could get going in a nicer area with more prospects.

@StSwithinsDay yes DP is his dad

will he go to college or 6th form after school? If college, is there anything good for him near your parents?
I think at this stage you have to prioritise DS’s interests. You can move a few years later when he’s off to uni or at least more independent.

Move your parents to you?

@pizzaHeart yes there are some excellent colleges near my parents.

We are going no where just yet anyway. Just thinking ahead.

College might be a good time to move and make friends in a new area.
He might want to try and stay on current town lodging with a friends family if he is doing an apprenticeship

I think in this case moving after exams and towards good college looks very different. Your DS will get new friends and will have time to settle in the area. It’s like moving to a uni in a way, but you have to look at this and plan it together with him.

I moved at age 16, around 160 miles, started at a different school for a levels.

It was very good for me.

@pizzaHeart yes that's exactly what we were thinking. We will certainly plan and discuss during this year, to see what he would like to do.

@Unexpectedlysinglemum DS does have a friend where the parents are moving to Spain and the lad will remain in the family home ( with an older brother, whilst he does a planned apprenticeship).

Plenty of options to consider anyway.

Glad it worked for you @SheilaFentiman

DS has made it clear he does not want to do A levels/ Uni, so we thought this would be a good opportunity to start somewhere afresh, whilst being near family.