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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

NCS - anyone's teen done it recently?

10 replies

slinkymalinki47 · 15/08/2023 14:46

My 16 yr old is due to go next week. They are quite socially awkward and are going alone (big step!). Everything seems well set up, just wondered if anyone else's terns had been and did they enjoy it?

OP posts:
QualityCorner · 15/08/2023 14:59

DS1 went- but that was about 5 years ago. It was a giant leap of faith because the scheme was fairly new then- at least I didn't know anyone who had done it before.
He didn't know anyone. He'd been with CAMHS for anxiety...He nearly didn't get on the bus- first week was at an activity centre about 100 miles away. He nearly got off the bus... It was fraught.
BUT as soon as they set off a group of girls asked him if he was on his own, and would he like to sit with them.... and the rest was well and truly history.
He didn't make any life long friends but they had a great time ( tbh there was a lot of copping off which I only found out about years later...) but his best memory is scaling some tower at the activity centre- which he didn't think he could do but got a huge cheer from his peers.
I think it helped us both separate a bit.

Original poster
slinkymalinki47 · 15/08/2023 15:22

That sounds good. Mine has anxiety and struggles with social things, so I'm really hoping it will be positive. I imagine we will have a fight to get them there too! Fingers crossed it goes as well as it did for your boy

OP posts:
QualityCorner · 15/08/2023 15:39

I don't know if it would help your boy but i said mind could come home any time he liked. If they don't feel trapped I think it can help.
Before he went, we talked about other things he had thought he wouldn't be able to do, but had in fact managed and enjoyed. Trying to show him it's worth giving things a go and it (mostly!) works out...

FuckNuggets · 15/08/2023 15:53

My dd went off on a NCS trip yesterday. She's been texting me sporadically (mainly to complain about the numerous slugs in their tent whilst they're trying to sleep 🙄), but she said there was a girl in her tent that was there on her own. DD's there with a big group of friends and they've made sure to include her in everything they're doing. I think your teen will be fine.

Original poster
slinkymalinki47 · 15/08/2023 22:13

Thanks both. That's reassuring

OP posts:
QuietFlame · 15/08/2023 22:29

My DD did it last year and loved it,despite dreading it and having suffered years of social anxiety.
I heartily recommend!

Cathpot · 15/08/2023 22:38

DD went on her own about 4 weeks ago and enjoyed the activities (water sports) and the girls in her tent were nice.

However there were only 2 of them there who had come alone and when the camp divided into 2 groups for activities DD was in with a huge group of kids that had come together. She found it quite isolating during the down times like lunch breaks and rang me upset at the end of day 3. I told her to ask to move groups but she didn’t want to leave the other girl who was also not in a friendship group on her own. In the end - and unbeknownst to DD - I emailed them and explained the situation and just asked them to keep an eye on her. She told me after that they had then checked in with her but hadn’t said why or addressed the issue directly.

On the final day she just tagged along with the other group which had her tent mates in and had a better day- (and in fact I think I she enjoyed more of the camp than the impression I got after a phone call when she was tired and a bit wobbly. )

NCS got back to me and apologised and said they try to keep an eye on not putting big groups together - so it may be she was just unlucky- I think it’s unusual to have 10 plus kids turn up together. I was really proud of her for going alone - she also doesn’t always find it easy to fit in, and I’m glad she went as it was a good life experience and the first time she has gone away like that on her own. She also looked out for another lone girl who was shy which is positive , and helped with ice breaking card games etc in the tent group- so lots of good stuff there. In retrospect I wish she had called earlier and I would have told her to articulate the problem to the staff and ask to move. I think the staff are genuinely invested in giving the kids a good time and I suspect her mistake was looking like she was coping ok.

Im a teacher myself so I know it’s not easy to micromanage social situations especially with kids you dont know- and so my advice would be to make sure your DS uses the staff if he needs to , to make sure he gets the best out if it. I hope he has a lovely time.

Dixiechickonhols · 16/08/2023 13:09

Mine did it last year and enjoyed it but had signed up with a few friends. Mine has a physical disability and I could see at parents talk that there were others with additional needs so I’m sure he won’t be only one with anxiety.

Original poster
slinkymalinki47 · 22/08/2023 08:14

Just an update - after a shaky start (poor admin, sent to wrong drop off point 🤬) he eventually got going. He finally texted late last night to say he'd made a friend and they've been paired up for the week. So am feeling pleased and relieved 😅

OP posts:
QualityCorner · 22/08/2023 15:11

Hope he has a great time, and that you don't feel too worried about him while he's gone.

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