Time keeping

[DippyDoppy123]

DD1 wanted to go shopping today on the train. Booked tickets and told her what time to be ready, her time keeping is awful- she gets distracted and spends ages putting on her make up so I built in a little ‘buffer time.’ Made sure she was up 2 hours before we needed to leave. She hates being pressured so I didn’t ask if she was ready until shortly before we needed to leave- she was still in the bathroom in her pjs. I said I was leaving in 10 mins whether she was ready or not. Of course she wasn’t ready.
I then went out but couldn’t face a day shopping myself. Did a few errands and now returned but she’s not speaking to me and I’m so fed up of spending ages waiting for her every time we go out and the stress of worrying we are going to be late. No apology or explanation.
She can just about get herself ready for school and her weekend activities.
I don’t think it’s an underlying issue eg adhd as she’s great with school work/hobbies- very conscientious and she’s a joy to be around other than this!
Any pearls of wisdom?

Don't book tickets again.

She missed out on a shopping trip.

That's her hard luck.

Just reread your post again.

It sounds like you do pussy foot around her.

Time to get tough. More restrictions for her tardiness such as missing out on things etc.

I'm against the rewards at this age as they are old enough to know better and shouldn't have to be rewarded for normal behaviour.

You are right- she struggled with her mental health during lock down and think this was the way we coped. Time for tough love! Thank you

Were the train tickets on booked trains or did you have a flexible ticket?

Did you ask her what time she wanted to leave?

I'm just wondering if she's feeling you organise her so is being a PITA to make a point.

I'd give more control over the arrangements, and make her responsible for being ready on time. If she's not ready, when she made the arrangements, then it's on her if you go without her.

You can model self-respect and boundaries.