My teenagers hate me

[Bexramps]

Long story short I have been divorced from my ex-husband 6yrs - he had been cheating nearly half of our 15yr marriage. We have two children 16 Daughter and 14 yr old son.
After years of him telling me I was crazy (I suspected something was up and having a few mental breakdowns) I caught him out and kicked him out.
A few months later I met my now husband who is an angel and treats me the way I’ve always wanted to be. Then last year
things changed my daughter then 15 decided to move in with her Dad as she no longer liked my husband. Only trigger for this was during lockdown he was in between jobs and was home a few months and she was very introverted and likes to be left alone.
my daughter won’t come over if husband is around and that is another situation il add a thread on.
So I’ve spent time away on my own with just the kids in the UK and had a great time this year I thought I would go overseas. We went on Monday by Wednesday I had booked a flight home as I was having a massive panic attack and couldn’t calm myself down I was devastated at ruining the kids holiday but I wasn’t well.
my son who lives with us has barely spoken to me my anxiety is still through the roof as I feel such a disappointment and I’m petrified my son will move out too as he hates me. What do I do 😞

On the chance you are still reading these OP.
I get how devastating discovering affairs are. I fully acknowledge that your ex made you feel crazy while he was hiding his affairs, it's what cheaters do.
You split and that was the best for you but it's been 5 years and you are obviously still angry and bitter about his treatment of you. Hate eats you up inside, it takes energy. I made the conscious decision that I didn't want to spend my precious energy on hate.
The affair partner in my case was someone I considered my best friend, a woman I trusted more than I trusted my husband. Her betrayal almost hurt more.
As I said it took over a year for me to feel better about the whole thing. I'd say you aren't anywhere near that stage yet. I would never have trusted another man before I was happy with my own emotions. You are obviously different and think you have a happy relationship now. given your anxiety and the emotions you are displaying here posters question that.

I kept my kids well out of all of the fallout. They have no idea why we don't have the same relationship with 'her' and her kids as we used to.
Your children have a right to be happy with their father. That sucks for you but it isn't about you!

Teenagers are notorious for not getting on with the adults in their lives, the grass is always greener on the other side.
Unfortunately for you if you want to salvage a relationship with your daughter you need to find a way to deal with the fact she prefers your cheating ex right now.

Treatment for anxiety is about teaching yourself to deal with it. Acknowledge the feelings, accept them and try to move past them.

Posters aren't trying to make you feel worse. They are pointing out that your children have every right to feel the way they do about loosing their holiday.
If you sent the time you were there is a heightened state of anxiety and then fled home can you see how upsetting that would be for them?