Other peoples graduations

[letsallmeetupinthehyear2000]

my friends kids are all either at uni or sending me their happy graduation pics
I am so sad because my Dd doesn’t want to go to uni and she’ll never experience this - she’s doing a min wage job and has very few friends. I just wanted so much more for her and it makes me feel so sad. I hoped she’d go to uni - have fun make new friends, have a few years of not having to do a boring job day in day out. I know I have loads to feel grateful for - she’s not on drugs, she’s driving her own car and she’s healthy - tell me to snap out of it please someone !!

She may do it later, OP.

Is she happy?

Well, at least she won't have loads of student debt hanging over her!

Some young people don't want to go to uni. Some never do, others change their minds and decide to go later.

I think the important thing is having aspirations and pursuing them. Is she happy doing what she is doing? What does she want from her life and her future?

How did she do at school/college? Her favourite subjects or areas of interest? Could she be supported in another direction?

Lots of options that don't involve Uni OP

I just wanted so much more for her and it makes me feel so sad

What did she want? How does she feel?

That's the only important thing here

She gave up her a levels after a few months (during Covid) went to college, gave that up, went to another college and gave that up too. It was so difficult - she became quite depressed and ended up on medication - she struggled socially.
She has no real ambition except to have a job and earn money. She’s naturally really musical but hasn’t really played for last few years.

I graduated at age 28 and then again at age 43! Give her time.

Thanks for your messages I do understand it’s more important that she’s happy - I suppose I feel like I’ve failed in some way as a parent.

I’m a uni lecturer. 50% of my students are mature students who have done access courses and gone to uni. I did my degree in my late 20s.

I also have friends with no degrees, no A levels who earn more than me. A degree isn’t everything and perfectly possible to be successful without one.

Not everyone goes to Uni.

I have 3 DC but only 1 went to Uni and has come out with £60,000 debt.

My husband is in his 50s and doing his degree now so there’s no age limit on it.

The most important thing is to help her be happy. Uni is not the be all and end all. She has years ahead of her to go, if she wants. There will be plenty of times for you to be proud, I’m sure.

Remember, some people who post these photos aren’t as happy as they appear.

Thanks - I only did my degree in my late 30s early 40s - but I did have ambitions at a younger age and had an interesting career in tv in my 20s and 30s - love the user name by the way !

You’re right - wow 60,000 of debt - that puts things in perspective !
I guess I know she’s not that happy but hopefully she’ll get there. I’ve backed off completely for the last year. She really doesn’t want any of mine or her dads advice. She just needs to gain some confidence I guess

My dd didn't go to uni.
She did an apprenticeship and 4 years on, she has a good job and saved up for a deposit for a little flat that she loves.
She has adhd and just hated academic learning.
There are other paths out there.

Ds left his A levels after the first year, he is planning on going to university next year & doing a foundation year. His mental health was shot at school & the break has done him good, he has spent most of it working for the Green Party, he has stood as a candidate in the local elections, worked as a Social Media Manager for a candidate in the Mayoral elections & is currently the LGBTQ+ officer for the party. He is either going to study politics or Town Planning.

That’s brilliant

So pleased - he’s obviously found something he’s really good at which hopefully has given him much more confidence